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Dana Samples
Member

since 2001-04-07

Posts 68

0 posted 2001-04-23 07:20 PM

to cut away the pain
there is nothing you can gain
to feel the sudden rush
to slowly watch it gush
to build up all the anger
you feel like such a stranger
to contain all of your sadness
never letting out the madness
it has become an obsession
there is no time for regression
everything is NOT okay
it will surly take its toll someday

By: Dana Samples 4-23-01

(this comes from my own past so please be gentle with replies. thanks)

[This message has been edited by acire (edited 04-23-2001).]

AngelPoet87
Member

since 2001-04-21

Posts 280
Indy

1 posted 2001-04-23 07:54 PM

Well in your profile it says you don't encourage critiques but from your post I'm taking it you don't mind? Hope not!!

Well this is a reasonably good poem, and I'm glad someone had the nerve to write about something we all, at one time in our lives, have to deal with, whether it relates directly or indirectly to us or not. But I hope your better now! We're always here to talk to.

~ali
keep it real, keep it tight
coz in the end, it'll be alright.

2Good
+2Be
------
4Gotten

Fading Away

Member Elite

since 2001-03-14

Posts 3131
Lynchburg, Virginia

2 posted 2001-04-23 08:00 PM

This is a good poem, Dana.  It's another one I've read today that has hit me incredibly hard.  If you're going through this, all I can do it offer you my *hugs* and email me if you ever need to talk.
This was a good poem.  After I read it a few times, I had to sit back and think about what I just read for a minute or two.. good poetry does that.
The flow was interrupted in a few places, but the rhyme scheme was good, and I loved the ending.
Nice work.

--Marie

subconsciously, i think i can eat so much to make my stomach hurt, instead of my heart.

[This message has been edited by Fading Away (edited 04-23-2001).]

Allan Riverwood

Member Elite

since 2001-01-04

Posts 3502
Winnipeg

3 posted 2001-04-23 09:01 PM

I did enjoy this, Dana. Once again please be careful about the guidelines of Passions in Poetry, it may aid you a bit to do a quick read of what they are exactly.
Still a nice poem, I liked the title. Titles with internal rhyme are sweeet.

~Allan

Build a man a fire, and he's warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.
~Unknown

Acies

Moderator

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-06-07

Posts 7665
Twilight Zone

4 posted 2001-04-23 09:20 PM

"to cut away the pain
there is nothing you can gain"

There is defenitely nothing to gain from such actions, and it's nice to see that you realize this. Harm on one's self should never be an option anyone should undertake.

"So long as men can breathe or eyes can see,
So long lives this, and this give life to thee." W.S.

xShUgArHiGhx

Member Elite

since 2000-09-26

Posts 3150
tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs

5 posted 2001-04-23 09:34 PM

Im glad you spoke up about this..its a hard thing to write about. God knows that there is nothing to gain from it...i've got my own scars to show from it too so your not alone. Your very talented...hope all is getting better..im always here if you need to talk.

Dopey Dope

Moderator

Member Patricius

since 2000-08-30

Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico

6 posted 2001-04-24 09:23 PM

I enjoyed the poem, but I do hope all is well.

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

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