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Teen Poetry #4
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(Leaf Series) #2- Skyward
| Teen Poetry #4 |
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(Leaf Series) #2- Skyward |
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LoveBug
Moderator
Member Elite
since 2000-01-08
Posts 4697
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Ok, this one is a bit confusing. You have to start at the bottom of the bottom "Pyramid" and read "Skyward"... Ra The sun Longing for Grasping the sun Reaching for the stars As the pharaohs of Egypt So they may be remembered Preserving their life here after death Always pushing their ambitions skyward Always higher than any other built before them And still, men feel compelled to build monuments To Ra To the sun Higher, closer Over 40 years work Over heavy laden workers Ever closer to the hanging orb Blood, sweat, and tears push them They push the hard mud bricks to the sky Higher, closer to the sun god Ra, for the king Starting from the deep desert sands, and building higher Ra The sun Nearly outshines So full of the gold that it Golden coins, beautiful paints That all the royals know in this life They will be filled with the golden spoils The monuments rise from the stark desert lands Of course, they will spend more time there than here They build their eternal homes larger than their earthly ones  "Men judge generally more by the eye than by the hand, for everyone can see and few can feel."-Machiavelli |
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| © Copyright 2001 Erica N. - All Rights Reserved | |||
Allan Riverwood
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502Winnipeg |
Erica I bow my head And difficult, too Very creatively done I can't wait for the next I'm loving your series a lot This is very cool, indeed it is What a creative idea, and well done I like the shape you incorporated in it To be quite honest, I really liked this poem Build a man a fire, and he's warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life. ~Unknown [This message has been edited by Allan Riverwood (edited 04-23-2001).] |
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anonymous albert ?
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979 |
this poem made me think bout history again  ...hehe.. but nice job.. i really liked it.. hope to see more but for reals tho... i think it wasn't confusin but instead creative.. thanks for sharin..bye   ...?death is not the greatest loss in life. the greatest loss is what dies inside us while we live. -norman cousins [This message has been edited by anonymous albert ? (edited 04-25-2001).] |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
I thought you did so wonderful on this piece erica!!!! WOW this is so great. I really enjoyed this. My fav was the first stanza....very good!  I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. |
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Acies
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665Twilight Zone |
Erica, your poems are getting more amazing each time you post. I'm in awe right now. No wonder Jeff told you to keep on writing. It truly is an amazing piece. Where's #3  "So long as men can breathe or eyes can see, |
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Fading Away
since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131Lynchburg, Virginia |
Erica, this post was amazing! The style was so creative, and the flow was right one. Wow.. I can't believe this doesn't have more replies. It needs to be back on page 1. I'm looking forward more and more to number 3! VERY nicely done. --Marie subconsciously, i think i can eat so much to make my stomach hurt, instead of my heart. |
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banburycross Senior Member
since 2001-03-27
Posts 946viginia |
This is incredibly creative and well written. you are really capturing the different time periods beautifully in this series, i am absolutely loving it. i look forward to reading the rest of this, keep postign your work. Sometimes, the things that go unsaid are the only things worth hearing. |
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