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MindlessPoet
Member

since 2001-04-20

Posts 106
Texas

0 posted 2001-04-23 01:49 AM

"Hope"

I run
And I run
For what seems an eternity

In search of the light
At the end of the tunnel.
It seems so far away...

My legs are weary.
Fatigue rears its ugly head.
My breath becomes heavier.

The route contains more rocks now.
The incline steepens as well.
I find it harder to press on.

But somehow I do.
Then I stumble and fall.
Blood trickles down my face.

The pain makes me wince.
My legs nearly collapse once more
As I arise from the stony path.

The light seems so close;
I can almost touch it.
And then, I am finally there.

I have made it to the end of the day.
I awaken tomorrow
Only to start all over, again.

*TiMMYBoY*
Yeah, that's me. The Weird One.

[This message has been edited by MindlessPoet (edited 04-23-2001).]

Allan Riverwood

Member Elite

since 2001-01-04

Posts 3502
Winnipeg

1 posted 2001-04-23 01:58 AM

Nice job on this one, I like what you described here, and how it all came full-circle in the end. Quite clever.

I look forward to reading more of your work.
~Allan

Build a man a fire, and he's warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.
~Unknown

Bishop
Junior Member

since 2001-04-22

Posts 30
Nottingham, England

2 posted 2001-04-23 02:01 AM

I loved this. Very good! I liked the way it flows!

^*Bishop*^

*Evil has many faces, and I'm one of them*

Fading Away

Member Elite

since 2001-03-14

Posts 3131
Lynchburg, Virginia

3 posted 2001-04-23 11:51 AM

I like this a lot! In my opinion, the beginning maybe needs some work.. the first stanza didn't appeal to me.
But I really like the way you ended this.. nice work!

--Marie

subconsciously, i think i can eat so much to make my stomach hurt, instead of my heart.

silvrduck
Member

since 2000-11-05

Posts 146

4 posted 2001-04-23 02:49 PM

I have made it to the end of the day.

Wow, that caught me totally offgaurd and kinda.. slapped me a bit. Good job

I really enjoyed this!

*The hardest thing to do is watch the one you love, love somebody else.*

anonymous albert ?

Member Elite

since 2001-03-23

Posts 2979

5 posted 2001-04-23 04:34 PM

very true in my opinion..
i really can relate to this one..
very well done..
and keep writin

...?

death is not the greatest loss in life. the greatest loss is what dies inside us while we live. -norman cousins

Dopey Dope

Moderator

Member Patricius

since 2000-08-30

Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico

6 posted 2001-04-24 08:00 PM

Hey i liked this! I thought it was going to be about and end completely differently. You put a spin on things. VERY good job.

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

AngelPoet87
Member

since 2001-04-21

Posts 280
Indy

7 posted 2001-04-24 08:08 PM

Wonderful job on this one, the end is a surprise and the beginning is great as well.

~ali

2Good
+2Be
------
4Gotten

sleepymoongirl
Member

since 2001-04-19

Posts 157
bc canada

8 posted 2001-04-25 08:14 PM

that was a cool poem i also see the same sorta imagery for some of my older poems will have to try and find some of them

In search of the light
At the end of the tunnel.
It seems so far away...

well till latterz from me

as u go in life there will be ur hardships it is up to u if it makes u or breaks u.

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