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Teen Poetry #4
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crushing fall of love
| Teen Poetry #4 |
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crushing fall of love |
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Godsend_1 Member
since 2001-04-19
Posts 247great state of illinois |
i feel my world falling out of place and i know that there is nothign i can do i try and stop it to make it right but things just keep going down first you over there you left me you went to a place far away i know why you left and i am cool with that but i still want you to return to me and then you over there in your home you make the world crush down when i look at you i begin to cry and weep for your lost soul you have no idea how you hurt me i began this morning with tears i dried them away so ppl would think i was ok but i'm not i hurt i feel alone you might be leaving also and there is nothgin a guy like me can do i scream with despiar and look at a knife oh man what am i going to do now i wonder why these things happen if i caused them and if there my fault they probobly are but i dont know how it seems all things are my problems i look to my side and baby i see you there and i wonder why you havent yet left me you see who i am and the porblems i have and yet you stay near somethings i dont understand but i put up with them anyway other things that i dont get i scream in rage and say 'go my way' but again i am alone in my room wondering where you all are i look to my left and then to my right and i think i see your shadow i try and see closer whos there but you may just be my imagination i sit all alone in my cold lonely room alone cause you all have left i weep for my misfortune and i cry for my lack of things good i feel a hand upon my shoulder then another and more and more of them i look up to see the people i love they are here they were just hiding in the dark they saw my pain and how i felt and how i wanted to die so came and put there hands on me and told me its going to be alright i look at them and they look at me and they tell me not to leave i ask if they wouldnt be better without me they look at me and laugh and say 'without you some of us might not even be here but we are cause we felt like someone cared, you told us you loved us and now its our turn we love you ben and we dont want you to leave please put away the knife in your hand and come over here with us we will hang and chill and talk and feel and we will be together always even when one of us leave dont worry we will never forget you ben' i look at them as the look at me and i tell them i dont deserve them and that they should just let me sleep and sleep away this hard hard life and let me dream of a better place they tell me no and please dont go so we go over the to corner os my room and we sit and talk about many things about how we feel and things not understood and in my room i feel glad i am with the ppl i love most and as get ready to leave i realize we said hardly a thing and yet i feel like we talked for hours getting everythign off our chest and you know what i guess that is what real friends are and i sit and i wait for them to return all alone in my room i am what i am and that is all that i am and all that i shall ever be......so deal with it |
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| © Copyright 2001 Ben Redshaw - All Rights Reserved | |||
Allan Riverwood
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502Winnipeg |
I like the last line, it was well thought-out. As for the rest of the poem, I hope you're ok man.  If you need someone to talk to, you can always come to PIP I'm sure. Me too, if you want to talk I have most IM programs (because I'm a loser! :hungover) so just tell me whatever I need to know.  ~Allan Build a man a fire, and he's warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life. |
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knightlyshadows Senior Member
since 2001-04-14
Posts 791obscured vision |
i love you |
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Godsend_1 Member
since 2001-04-19
Posts 247great state of illinois |
i love you to tiffany i hope you know that i really do and allan and for anybody really if you got yahoo im then feel free to pm me my sn is roric5 just pop up and say hi i am glad you guys like my poems cuz i think i stink lol ben redshaw the great i am what i am and that is all that i am and all that i shall ever be......so deal with it |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
Wow that was a long one PHEW! well done though.  I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. |
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Fading Away
since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131Lynchburg, Virginia |
I really hope you're okay. *hugs* Things'll get better.. just hang in there. This poem was really good, it was long, but well worth the read. Nice work. --Marie subconsciously, i think i can eat so much to make my stomach hurt, instead of my heart. |
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sleepymoongirl Member
since 2001-04-19
Posts 157bc canada |
i thought that poem twas cool. but then again ben i alwayz like what u write even though i might not like what got u there to write it. i may help my friends but my friends r y i'm here to. like i can understand what ur saying. thinks i will have to put this to my libary... loves ya lots ben as u go in life there will be ur hardships it is up to u if it makes u or breaks u. |
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AngelPoet87 Member
since 2001-04-21
Posts 280Indy |
Oh wow, this was absolutly wonderful. Brilliant writing, absolutly fantastic. I can't praise you enough on this one. Great, great job. ~ali 2Good |
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anonymous albert ?
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979 |
hope things get better for u and nice poem...... keep writing  ...?death is not the greatest loss in life. the greatest loss is what dies inside us while we live. -norman cousins |
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