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Teen Poetry #4
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These Tears
| Teen Poetry #4 |
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These Tears |
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~sugarpie313~ Member
since 2000-09-14
Posts 375Maine, USA |
Tears flowing like the sea one of each representing you and me. Running down the sides all alone, not knowing where the other will go. Then at the bottom we will meet, for a time, full of passion, which no one else can see. Then as quickly as we came together we will part, but imprints will be left on each others hearts. These tears i cry are tears for you, because to stay with you is something i cannot do. *Life can take your dreams and turn them upside down, Friends will talk about you when you're not around, but don't ever lose that light in your eyes* |
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| © Copyright 2001 Valerie - All Rights Reserved | |||
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sleepymoongirl Member
since 2001-04-19
Posts 157bc canada |
hey that was cool like i totally dig the "Then as quickly as we came together we will part, but imprints will be left on each others hearts." from me Scarlet  |
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Suga_Baby Member
since 2000-08-06
Posts 380Maine, USA |
Whatever pops into my head? Alright... VAL, GIRL, YOU ROCK MY WORLD!!!!!!!!! CHICO! CHICO! CHICO! *LMAO* haha  There ya have it "A dream is a wish your heart makes while you are fast asleep." |
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Acies
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665Twilight Zone |
I am just loving the concept of the poem. Val, OMG this is beautiful. Probably my favorite of your so far. Keep sharing you wickedly talented gurlie. "So long as men can breathe or eyes can see, |
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Allan Riverwood
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502Winnipeg |
(I love Val's critique message!  )What popped into my head Hey, another poem by Val. Ooh, I like the rhyming she set up, and the wording is really exquisite. Hmm... in the second stanza she got a bit lazy on the rhymes. But hey, who cares, it's all worded so well I'm still reading... Ouch what an ending...  The poor person she's talking to...Man that was good, Val's getting a lot better. ~Allan Build a man a fire, and he's warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life. |
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Fading Away
since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131Lynchburg, Virginia |
These are beautiful thoughts! I enjoyed this one a lot.. VERY well done --Marie subconsciously, i think i can eat so much to make my stomach hurt, instead of my heart. |
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anonymous albert ?
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979 |
very nicely done.. i liked the emotions u had in this one... thanks for sharin and keep writing  ...?death is not the greatest loss in life. the greatest loss is what dies inside us while we live. -norman cousins |
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Spine Grinder Senior Member
since 2000-10-28
Posts 1127Standing In Silence... |
Wow. Just wow. nice job. |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
I liked it. Sad situation, but you'll be ok eventually |
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keoni Senior Member
since 2000-10-16
Posts 850Up in the mountains in the NFC |
Sad,very sad. I hope things get better. Great poem. Last two lines were killer. Jon "Your anger is a gift"-Rage Against The Machine |
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~sugarpie313~ Member
since 2000-09-14
Posts 375Maine, USA |
thanks for all replies Why do you do what u do to me baby...you know if I could I'd do anything for you, please don't ignore me cause you know I adore you |
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