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Teen Poetry #4
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Mistress of Rose Fields
| Teen Poetry #4 |
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Mistress of Rose Fields |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico 
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Mistress of Rose Fields: "Mistress of Rose Fields, beware thy speech. Tis Whispering Meadows, a secret leach. Crouch down and speak, yet lightly still Thou dost not want a Meadow to thrill. Ever so softly grant me thy tale. Be slow, yet steady, my mind to fail. In left ear, not right. Tell me now, Whisper thy plight of where and how." Time elapsed, the tavern was cold. Mistress of Rose Fields, her secret told. Whispering Meadow lay in shock on floor Exclaiming, "Halt! Please stop, no more!" Yet still, she went on, and on she pressed. Meadow lay dead, in motionless blessed With eyes wide open, and mouth closed tight. His mind in fear, in fear of fright. Tears ran down Mistress cheek. Uttered a secret that made her weak. Fell to the floor in a weary spill, Yet continued on, no fear of kill. She finished herself with one, short phrase. Said it softly and within a haze, "Tis what happens when we blindly see, I turned my back on love, on thee."  I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. I'm in love with my shadow I admire it daily [This message has been edited by Dopey_Dope (edited 04-21-2001).] |
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| © Copyright 2001 Pepe de la Muerte - All Rights Reserved | |||
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~sugarpie313~ Member
since 2000-09-14
Posts 375Maine, USA |
i absolutely love this!! and you are so adorable in that picture... (that is you right? LOL) anyways i really love the last 2 lines... they really sum it up VERY well  GREAT GREAT JOB!! as always Valerie *Life can take your dreams and turn them upside down, Friends will talk about you when you're not around, but don't ever lose that light in your eyes* |
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Alwye
Moderator
Member Elite
since 1999-06-16
Posts 3850In the space between moments |
Awesome work Javier! I loved the archaic feel and the last two lines were phenomenal. Great write my friend!  *Krista Knutson* |
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kcsgrandma Senior Member
since 2000-09-24
Posts 1522Presque Isle, ME |
Hope you don't mind my replying in here, but have to say I enjoyed this, and the pic, too. I like the lilting style of it, quite unexpected. To love another person is to see the face of God. |
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katherine Member
since 2000-06-10
Posts 365Canberra Australia |
such a cutie!!! this was good. `kate 'Love starts with a smile, grows with a kiss, and ends with a tear.' |
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Allan Riverwood
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502Winnipeg |
Excellent work, Javier! Just excellent! This poem is definitely one of the best I have seen from you in my short time in PIP, I truly do think this is outstanding. *click* into the library. And aren't you a bit little to be smoking?  ~Allan Build a man a fire, and he's warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life. |
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cherish Senior Member
since 2001-03-25
Posts 1639swimming in fairy floss........... |
wooooooooo hooooooooooo!!! you finally got it on here!!...  you know how much i like this one already..but let me say it again.. great work!!!!! btw you're such a cute little'un mua!! "Life is not long and boring, |
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anonymous albert ?
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979 |
awesome poem... i really liked it.. great job.. u r a kid with a talent of a genius  anyways...though that picture is sooooooooooooooooooooooo cutee awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww...haha........javier..  ...?death is not the greatest loss in life. the greatest loss is what dies inside us while we live. -norman cousins [This message has been edited by anonymous albert ? (edited 04-22-2001).] |
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Jenn Cirrincione
since 2000-07-02
Posts 2107Fl |
I loved the poem... Awwww and you're sooooo cute.... hehe Love ya!! "I've come too close to happiness, to have it swept away,don't think I can take the pain, never fall again..." Janet |
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Child of the Stars
since 2000-09-07
Posts 1658Ann Arbor, MI |
Whoa. I AbSoLuTeLy loVeD ThiS ..................... man this was kick butt man oh man oh man haha, nice pic hahah ~cutie pie There is pleasure in poetic pains which only poets know......~Unknown |
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silvrduck Member
since 2000-11-05
Posts 146 |
Wow Dopey! I loved this, i really did! She finished herself with one, short phrase. Said it softly and within a haze, "Tis what happens when we blindly see, I turned my back on love, on thee." Sigh. Yeah... you're good ps. I love the pic, hehe.. you're so cute!! *The hardest thing to do is watch the one you love, love somebody else.* |
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Deranger Member
since 2000-05-10
Posts 498Somewhere, between here and there |
A little differant than the majority of your work. The old english really improves the flow/atmosphere, i don't think it would have worked without it. yep yep. Good work. Spreading insanity, one post at a time |
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Jenn Cirrincione
since 2000-07-02
Posts 2107Fl |
Where'd the little baby boy go??? I guess your cute and all hehe.... but you were cuter before!!! LOL  "I've come too close to happiness, to have it swept away,don't think I can take the pain, never fall again..." Janet |
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Sabriel.s.h.lover Member
since 2001-04-16
Posts 73b.f.e. aka- Hickville |
This poem was quite good. And so I must agree with everyone else, U r a cutie! ~Sabriel |
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Acies
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665Twilight Zone |
Dopey --- where's the baby pic  I'll put one up myself Awesome poem Daddy Mac keep sharing "So long as men can breathe or eyes can see, |
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sleepymoongirl Member
since 2001-04-19
Posts 157bc canada |
ahhhhhhh sorryz likes it did show up ahhhhhh oh wellz i did my other one and yeah hmmmmm ok well i thinks i will leave u the dancing baby cuz tis amuzing [This message has been edited by sleepymoongirl (edited 04-22-2001).] |
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sleepymoongirl Member
since 2001-04-19
Posts 157bc canada |
grrrrrrness my last message got erased that i wrote u. well to be honest i thought it waas good. like it was cool cuz it had a different edge i haven't been here long but none of the poems i have read so far have done it in ur style so was cool sorry if explaination doesn't help ya  but hey thats what i thoughtz  |
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Low Man's Lyric Member
since 2001-04-03
Posts 236In a dream |
Great poem, I think this is the first I read from you. Can't wait till the next one. Give her two red roses, each with a note. The first note says "For the woman I love" and the second, "For my best friend." |
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fozzyozzy Member
since 2001-03-15
Posts 336Lessburg Virginia |
Whoa this is truly great to the greatness scale of 11 out of 10. Radicalness "The heart can think of no devotion |
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Shygirl82 Member
since 2001-02-19
Posts 245Ilinois |
Wow...excellent poem. It was really good and extremely well written...I enjoyed it a lot. Thanks for sharing. ~Nikki~  |
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coyote Senior Member
since 2001-03-17
Posts 1077 |
Javier, This is an outstanding work!!! I liked it very much. "The rose, like the cactus flower, protects herself with thorns. We however, impale ourselves on their beauty." |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
Thanks all.....If any of you are wondering why people are saying I am cute it's because I originally had a BABY PICTURE up.....nobody thinkks I'm cute now  Anyhow, all your comments were appreciated. Coyote- Glad you enjoyed it....means a lot. Thanks for stopping by and reading |
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Jenn Cirrincione
since 2000-07-02
Posts 2107Fl |
Silly... you're quite a little hottie. You must have yourself confused with someone else. But you were cuuuutttteee before. You were adorable!!! "I've come too close to happiness, to have it swept away,don't think I can take the pain, never fall again..." Janet |
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Fading Away
since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131Lynchburg, Virginia |
Wow.. okay, well I'm sorry I missed this the first time around. Very nice job, Javi! I enjoyed this. --Marie subconsciously, i think i can eat so much to make my stomach hurt, instead of my heart. |
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Lakewalker Member Elite
since 2000-08-05
Posts 3289On the streets w/ people |
Great poem, excellent job on it. nice baby picture, I'm glad I caught it before when I first read this, and nice new picture too "Be kind for everyone you meet is fighting a harder battle" Plato. |
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anonymous albert ?
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979 |
no more baby pic ...?death is not the greatest loss in life. the greatest loss is what dies inside us while we live. -norman cousins |
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IsGona Senior Member
since 2000-07-14
Posts 723 |
Well, better late then never huh? Javier, you always amaze me. No exception here. I look forward to more. And put your baby pic back up I missed it |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
Haha sorry guys......the pic that's up stays.....I don't think having my baby pic up.....AND me having access to the adult forum and posting in there is right at all! C'mon! Imagine! A 3yr old ME in there! NO! That's just wrong! Anyway, thanks for all the compliments, replies, advice, praise, bla, and bleep, and bloops....yep all appreciated to the fullest extent! |
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SEA 
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676with you |
I like this very much.... |
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Heavens Tears
since 2001-03-15
Posts 677 |
Awesome poem. I really liked it. I can never put dailogue into my poems. I cant figure out why. It just never sounds right to me. Im jealous. Anyways, great poem! *~*Amanda*~* |
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princess^sarah Member
since 2001-01-12
Posts 131melbourne |
SEXY SEXY SEXY SEXY!! WILL U BE MY GUY/? PUHLEESEEEEEE lurve sarah! *smooch* |
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cherish Senior Member
since 2001-03-25
Posts 1639swimming in fairy floss........... |
wooo hoo...javvie looks like SUMONES after you hun *looks across at sarah* you better check out her sexy new pic quick! hahahaha... "Life is not long and boring, |
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Ina Senior Member
since 2000-10-09
Posts 1236Quebec, Canada |
Its been awhile since your last poem that ive read. this was amazing. ®egina library piece a small cut is only the beggining of a life in pain |
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Starr Member
since 2001-02-08
Posts 100 |
WOW... for the poem and the pic... This poem was awesome I totally loved it.... and the last two lines was great.... It amplified the meaning the poem had to me.... Keep posting!! Every action of our lives touches some chord that will vibrate in eternity. |
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Chel Senior Member
since 2000-07-01
Posts 511Baltimore, MD, USA |
Great piece. I loved it. Keep up the great work. Chel "True friends stab you in the front." |
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Suga_Baby Member
since 2000-08-06
Posts 380Maine, USA |
WOW this is AWESOME!!!! Of course, what did I expect from YOU? *LOL* Your work always rocks my world, nice job yet again.  "A dream is a wish your heart makes while you are fast asleep." |
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Dusk Treader
Moderator
Senior Member
since 1999-06-18
Posts 1187St. Paul, MN |
I feel like you're just one step ahead of me with the two poems I've read so far. LOL, It's like following the dawn, you can just see the light, but it hasn't broken yet. It works well for me though, it gets me thinking about what you said, intrigues me. The ending rather binds it all together. Those last two lines are, of course, great I can relate to so well to "blindly see"ing. My favorite image though has to be with "eyes wide open and mouth shut tight." A closing off of something and an opening of another. Excellent poem, Javier, really like that Archaic wording you used, done quite well, from my point of view. "There's nowhere to set my aim |
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