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Teen Poetry #4
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knightlyshadows
Senior Member
since 2001-04-14
Posts 791
obscured vision

0 posted 2001-04-21 06:47 PM


Running around in circles,
chasing my own tail.
Searching for the entrance,
of a secret place.
Striving for achievement,
but its locked away safe.
Hunting down the answers,
but it seems i am the prey.


ok i dont know what it is. i know it needs work and stuffish and i plan too maybe, but as for the rest..when i read it it seems unfinished but in my head it is done and theres nothing else to do about it. so if u like..good for you and if u hate....o well i tried. (that sounded rude im sorry) lol newayz....there u go!
tiff

© Copyright 2001 Tiffany Durham - All Rights Reserved
Linc
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Senior Member
since 2001-03-07
Posts 552
The Backstreet Boy
1 posted 2001-04-21 06:51 PM


Hey,

    YOU HAVE A TAIL j/k great poem until your next

       -- linc

"Once you reach your original goal it seems that the journey was your real accomplishment."

anonymous albert ?
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since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979

2 posted 2001-04-21 06:56 PM


no 4 reals though...if u think its done its done as its ur work y must some1 else put their hands on it to make it looked finish its fine and if u think its done jus leave it
until next time..

i think i repeated myself ...but anyways..bye

...?

death is not the greatest loss in life. the greatest loss is what dies inside us while we live. -norman cousins

Angel Bee
Member
since 2001-01-30
Posts 176
Virginia
3 posted 2001-04-21 07:57 PM


I think this was good. As for a title well I'm not sure, Searching maybe. I don't know. Just a suggestion. Keep writing,
ab

*~Sometimes just holding hands is holding on to everything.~*

sleepymoongirl
Member
since 2001-04-19
Posts 157
bc canada
4 posted 2001-04-21 08:07 PM


hee hee hee hee that is like cutish.. and to thinks u think i be writing good stuff. it is so much harder to write happy poetry then it is to write sad stuffish likes i'm writing although i be getting better loves ya tifferz


hmmmm hope that works thinks the danceing baby is amuzing   :bouncing:

sleepymoongirl
Member
since 2001-04-19
Posts 157
bc canada
5 posted 2001-04-21 08:16 PM


ha ha ha ha ha i gotz it this time there ya go tifferz love yaz keep ups the good work  

[This message has been edited by sleepymoongirl (edited 04-21-2001).]

Dopey Dope
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Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico
6 posted 2001-04-21 09:50 PM


I enjoyed it but it wasn't as good as some of your others.

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

Godsend_1
Member
since 2001-04-19
Posts 247
great state of illinois
7 posted 2001-04-21 09:54 PM


hey look at me ppl io am a monkey heheheh .......oh wait wrong room sorry lol i loved it baby keep it up

i am what i am and that is all that i am and all that i shall ever be......so deal with it

Allan Riverwood
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since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502
Winnipeg
8 posted 2001-04-22 02:16 AM


@Godsend_1

The poem... lesse... yes, add a few stanzas perhaps.  Two more might make it seem more complete.  
The title?  I was thinking "circles."  
~Allan

Build a man a fire, and he's warm for a day.  Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.  
~Unknown

anonymous albert ?
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9 posted 2001-04-22 02:18 AM


hahahaha....good one allan
but...i think u got the wrong add..its Godsend_1@LOL ..hehe jus kiddin

...?

[This message has been edited by anonymous albert ? (edited 04-22-2001).]

Fading Away
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Lynchburg, Virginia
10 posted 2001-04-23 08:57 PM


Okay, you just confused me, albert!

Nice job, Tiff.  I think it could be extended, but I enjoyed the read.
Thanks for sharing.

--Marie

subconsciously, i think i can eat so much to make my stomach hurt, instead of my heart.

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