Teen Poetry #4 |
Headline. |
Marshalzu
since 2001-02-15
Posts 2681Lurking |
Headline. The snow is falling down, and the trains they all stand still. The people turn and frown, as our livestock all falls ill. The Germans are being cautious, as we infected their sheep. The farmers are all nautious, because of lack of sleep. There are two friendly rivals, and England she must win, we welcome the arrival, but a new era must begin. A train has crashed and it's bringing great sorrow 30 bodies smashed and that's the headlines until tomorrow... <<<_Andrew_>>> " The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots" -Thomas jefferson |
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© Copyright 2001 Andrew Sewell - All Rights Reserved | |||
Angel Bee Member
since 2001-01-30
Posts 176Virginia |
I liked this poem. The title is very sutible. I'm not sure if it has unseen meaning underneath the poem, or if it was just written, but thats just me trying to dig too deep. hehe. Anyway, keep writing! :o) ~ab~ *~Sometimes just holding hands is holding on to everything.~* |
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Allan Riverwood
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502Winnipeg |
Another great work. I love the transition from couplets to quatrains. Very nice, it really affected the feel of the poem for me. I also agree with AB that the title is very appropriate. Another awesome work, Zu. ~Allan Build a man a fire, and he's warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life. |
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Fading Away
since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131Lynchburg, Virginia |
Wow, Andrew, your work as of late has been VERY impressive! I loved the style of this poem. The format really goes well with what you're trying to say, and the ending really hit hard! nicely done. --Marie subconsciously, i think i can eat so much to make my stomach hurt, instead of my heart. |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
Did this really happen? If so then that sucks. I felt you did good on the poem though. Nicely done. I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. |
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Acies
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665Twilight Zone |
Very interesting read Zu. Hope this isn't based on reality. Thanks for sharing "So long as men can breathe or eyes can see, |
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SEA
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676with you |
wow....very good |
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Lakewalker Member Elite
since 2000-08-05
Posts 3289On the streets w/ people |
Ditto to everyone on the format coments and it had real emotional depth to it too, good job on this one. "Be kind for everyone you meet is fighting a harder battle" Plato. |
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