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Teen Poetry #4
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Childhood's Remains
| Teen Poetry #4 |
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Childhood's Remains |
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Child of the Stars
since 2000-09-07
Posts 1658Ann Arbor, MI 
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Cleanse the rusting, crimson stains and all the dust that still remains The fairy lands and fading dreams I let loose much too long ago... A sunrise smiles upon the grave Where pirouetting angels seem to dance away the shadow's crown My pride, my soul has fallen down... Into the stillness, in the rain See no dust that still remains Fairy lands and angels pray And hope that I'll return again But I may not remain |
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| © Copyright 2001 Carly Anne Van Dort - All Rights Reserved | |||
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lonely*soul Member
since 2001-04-05
Posts 396east haddam (moodus) ct :) |
carly, that does not suck...i like it... i loved lil kidness!!! hehe <~~~thats not close to a real word..ahh wellz...good job :0) " im surrounded by people, but yet im still all alone" |
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Acies
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665Twilight Zone |
This is an amazing poem Carly. You are amazing. Really talented. ~*applauds*~ "So long as men can breathe or eyes can see, |
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anonymous albert ?
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979 |
niceeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee really niceeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee it was soooo goood  yea!!!  but for reals i thought u did a awesome job here..i really thought it was niceeeeeeeeeeee..awesome job once again carly  keep them comin' gurl   ...? |
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IsGona Senior Member
since 2000-07-14
Posts 723 |
I a liitle off key for you , but truely amazing to me. Kind of a sad poem, though it made me realize some things Thanks for sharing Jason |
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Allan Riverwood
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502Winnipeg |
You are the Queen of Tetrameter, but you teased us all in the last stanza when you abandoned tetrameter.  *gasps*I think you should take a few minutes to rewrite this, and extend it.  Three stanzas doesn't get the message across quite as well as it could.~Allan Build a man a fire, and he's warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life. |
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Child of the Stars
since 2000-09-07
Posts 1658Ann Arbor, MI |
You should know that when I write from that lil spot inside, I don't give a rat's butt about formats, babe.  Thanks for the advice though, maybe I will try another. Much love to all, shanks for replying. ~Carly There is pleasure in poetic pains which only poets know......~Unknown |
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Fading Away
since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131Lynchburg, Virginia |
Very nice, Carly!! Very nice, indeed. Enjoyed, as always --Marie subconsciously, i think i can eat so much to make my stomach hurt, instead of my heart. |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
Great poem carly......quite good. I'm impressed.  I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. |
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Deranger Member
since 2000-05-10
Posts 498Somewhere, between here and there |
*Applauds* Spreading insanity, one post at a time |
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Dana Samples Member
since 2001-04-07
Posts 68 |
hey babe!!! sorry i didn't see this earlier. i haven't been on in awhile. this was again a great poem like all of yours. i love the way you write. i can tell this one means a lot down inside. keep it up chick!! lots of love, dana |
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knightlyshadows Senior Member
since 2001-04-14
Posts 791obscured vision |
good lord that was great! *adds to library* tiff  “A single choice can build destinies,or destroy them.” |
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