navwin » Archives » Teen Poetry #4 » A Fondness of The Flesh
Teen Poetry #4
Post A Reply Post New Topic A Fondness of The Flesh Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
Deranger
Member
since 2000-05-10
Posts 498
Somewhere, between here and there

0 posted 2001-04-20 01:58 AM



A Fondness of the Flesh

Fell in love with the flesh
Pale, soft and smooth in my fingertips-
Lazily drift across her enchanting lips
I could spout tears to touch her
To the flesh, I’m a sentimental connoisseur,

She has become the temple to my obsession,
The salt of her skin, I find strangely intoxicating
A goddess of the only concrete religion-
A warden to my growing passion

Heated breaths caress so heavenly,
As she becomes one with me—
This simple act is the epicenter of beauty
As she pressed her lips to me.

Cries rise, but in name of no displeasure
Tears down her cheek, her weak arm enslaves me-
So unforgiving and completely,
She bled the price of her maiden ecstasy
We’ve burn day to night, as we would all eternity.

                                                                  

Spreading insanity, one post at a time

My skull has glowing green eyes!

© Copyright 2001 Alexander Crino - All Rights Reserved
Dopey Dope
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico
1 posted 2001-04-20 02:52 AM


Nicely done. Not your best but you did have some  great points in this poem. Always a pleasure to read you.

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

anonymous albert ?
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979

2 posted 2001-04-20 02:57 AM


i haven't read
any of ur eariler works
but i liked this..
keep writing

...?

Fading Away
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131
Lynchburg, Virginia
3 posted 2001-04-20 01:23 PM


I liked this a lot.  I look forward to reading more from you soon.
Nicely done.

--Marie

subconsciously, i think i can eat so much to make my stomach hurt, instead of my heart.

Allan Riverwood
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502
Winnipeg
4 posted 2001-04-20 07:49 PM


I love the last line... it had a message I saw as a religious one, is this correct?  I understood it in this sense, just beautiful.
Dark romance is so nice.  
~Allan

Build a man a fire, and he's warm for a day.  Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.  
~Unknown

Deranger
Member
since 2000-05-10
Posts 498
Somewhere, between here and there
5 posted 2001-04-21 01:43 AM


As always, i thank you for your input.  Hey Dopey_Dope, why don't you like it? Feedback's only useful if i know what to look for...of course, it could just be personal preference, if so...i just wasted my time typing this message--DOH!

Spreading insanity, one post at a time

My skull has glowing green eyes!

Post A Reply Post New Topic ⇧ top of page ⇧ Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.
navwin » Archives » Teen Poetry #4 » A Fondness of The Flesh

Passions in Poetry | pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums | 100 Best Poems

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary