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Godsend_1
Member

since 2001-04-19

Posts 247
great state of illinois

0 posted 2001-04-19 07:19 PM

ok this is my first real work guys i hope you like it

when i say I love you
every minute of everyday
and when i want to hold you
all the time and anywhere
and I say I dream of you always
or when i tell you that i think of you
all throughout my day
and when i say i want to you forever with me
to spend the rest of my life with you
or i tell you, you complete me
and make me one whole entity
or hwo i know i cant live without you
like i cant live without my heart
when i tell you that you are my all, my life, the maker of my dreams come true
when i say these things does it make you want to back up
run away and tell me to settle down
so i make you want to flee
with the love i pour out
do the words i say freak you out
and you tell me we arent that serious
if they do i am sorry i dont mean to overwhelm you
but i speak how i feel and i say what i want
i miss you i love you i dream of you always
your are my all the most important and everything good
and now i wonder if i scare you and i watch and i wait to see
if you are still there
after i smother thee

Allan Riverwood

Member Elite

since 2001-01-04

Posts 3502
Winnipeg

1 posted 2001-04-19 07:22 PM

Interesting! I really like how you took the question and dragged it out, with the "when I" turning into the "will you." Very creative, I love poetry that is this original and intriguing!
Welcome to Passions in Poetry, I hope to see you posting and replying more in here!
~Allan

Build a man a fire, and he's warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.
~Unknown

[This message has been edited by Allan Riverwood (edited 04-19-2001).]

knightlyshadows
Senior Member

since 2001-04-14

Posts 791
obscured vision

2 posted 2001-04-19 07:29 PM

Ben, i love you so much!! u could never make me want to leave you. i want to be there with you so bad. two and a half more months baby.....we can wait till then. we'll be ok we can make it! *hugs*

HAPPY BIRTHDAY! you are 'mione' i love you

Sabriel.s.h.lover
Member

since 2001-04-16

Posts 73
b.f.e. aka- Hickville

3 posted 2001-04-19 08:26 PM

Wow.i liked this for your first piece. It was full of emotions and I like that kind of thing.

~Sabriel

anonymous albert ?

Member Elite

since 2001-03-23

Posts 2979

4 posted 2001-04-19 08:36 PM

wow great first post!!and..WELCOME to PASSIONS..i think u'll do jus fine here

keep writing.i really thought the poem was great

Low Man's Lyric
Member

since 2001-04-03

Posts 236
In a dream

5 posted 2001-04-19 09:20 PM

Interesting poem, I really enjoyed it. AND WELCOME TO PASSIONS!!!

Give her two red roses, each with a note. The first note says "For the woman I love" and the second, "For my best friend."
~Anonymous

Child of the Stars

Senior Member

since 2000-09-07

Posts 1658
Ann Arbor, MI

6 posted 2001-04-19 09:35 PM

WELCOME to the wonderful world of Passions in Poetry. I hope you love it here, as we all do! This was a great first post...I enjoyed the way in which it was written. Have a great time here in the forums, I can't wait to see you more often! Oh and...check your e-mail for somethin cool.

~Carly

There is pleasure in poetic pains which only poets know......~Unknown

DancinQueen

Senior Member

since 2000-07-29

Posts 1092
Kokomo,IN,USA

7 posted 2001-04-20 12:07 PM

WELCOME!

Glad you decided to join us

Very interesting poem here, I enjoyed it very much. I hope you like it here around Passions, and I can't wait to read more!

*dq

-=We often get hurt when we trust someone we want them to be instead of who they really are=-

Starr
Member

since 2001-02-08

Posts 100

8 posted 2001-04-20 12:41 PM

!!!WELCOME to PASSIONS!!!
Very nice first post. It shows you have a lot of emotion in you to express, that is very important for your writing... I like this one... Keep on posting!

Every action of our lives touches some chord that will vibrate in eternity.

Dopey Dope

Moderator

Member Patricius

since 2000-08-30

Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico

9 posted 2001-04-20 02:42 AM

I liked the last line.....smother thee....hey smother me.......or not

but I liked the poem. VERY sweet!

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

5_sweet_kisses
Junior Member

since 2001-04-20

Posts 49

10 posted 2001-04-20 11:04 AM

aww Ben I dont think is thinking about leaving you dork..that was a great poem.. Ben I didn't know you were so good.. I just joined Passions too*scared* because I stink at it (cries) all well.. that was a awesome poem Ben.. keep up the good work

5_sweet_kisses
Junior Member

since 2001-04-20

Posts 49

11 posted 2001-04-20 11:05 AM

aww Ben I dont think Tiff is thinking about leaving you anytime soon dork..that was a great poem.. Ben I didn't know you were so good.. I just joined Passions too*scared* because I stink at it (cries) all well.. that was a awesome poem Ben.. keep up the good work

knightlyshadows
Senior Member

since 2001-04-14

Posts 791
obscured vision

12 posted 2001-04-20 11:10 AM

lol *sits on edith* nooooooo im not plannin on leavin him for like EVER!! :P
i love you ben

tiff

Godsend_1
Member

since 2001-04-19

Posts 247
great state of illinois

13 posted 2001-04-20 11:19 AM

you never gonna leave me hun and i am never gonna leave you we are gonna be together for ever if i have anysay in it i love you baby peek you better come back to me or i am gonna cry a river ok

banburycross
Senior Member

since 2001-03-27

Posts 946
viginia

14 posted 2001-04-20 01:17 PM

Welcome to passions!!

great first post, i liked the last line specially. keep posting your work, i look forward to reading more in the future.

Sometimes, the things that go unsaid are the only things worth hearing.

Fading Away

Member Elite

since 2001-03-14

Posts 3131
Lynchburg, Virginia

15 posted 2001-04-20 01:32 PM

Welcome to Passions!

I really enjoyed this first post. Very nicely done! I hope you like it here

Again, very nice poem, and welcome.

--Marie

subconsciously, i think i can eat so much to make my stomach hurt, instead of my heart.

Acies

Moderator

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-06-07

Posts 7665
Twilight Zone

16 posted 2001-04-20 03:51 PM

WELCOME TO PASSIONS!!!

What a way to start here in passions
Such an enjoyable read
impressive my friend
hope to see more of your work soon
thanks for sharing

"So long as men can breathe or eyes can see,
So long lives this, and this give life to thee." W.S.

xShUgArHiGhx

Member Elite

since 2000-09-26

Posts 3150
tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs

17 posted 2001-04-22 11:30 AM

WELCOME TO PASSIONS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I really enjoyed this first post of yours..i found it to be very interesting and unique!!! I hope you like it so far here...I cant wait to read more from you so please..Keep on posting!!!

MindlessPoet
Member

since 2001-04-20

Posts 106
Texas

18 posted 2001-04-22 11:48 AM

I liked your poem, esp the last line and "The maker of my dreams come true" Welcome to passions. You'll learn to love it

*TiMMYBoY*
Yeah, that's me. The Weird One.

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