»
Archives
»
Teen Poetry #4
»
Dream World
| Teen Poetry #4 |
|
Dream World |
|
|
Sabriel.s.h.lover Member
since 2001-04-16
Posts 73b.f.e. aka- Hickville |
As the curtain of night finally falls, And my eyelids begin to slip, I dream of a place, Where you and I would be madly in love, And nothing could come between us. But that's just a dreamworld, And you still love the girl, Who is totally wrong for you. It's a pity we will never be, Your my life and you don't even know it |
||
| © Copyright 2001 Angelina - All Rights Reserved | |||
Allan Riverwood
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502Winnipeg |
The last line is a great thought to end the poem on... best of luck with the situation.  ~Allan Build a man a fire, and he's warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life. |
||
|
anonymous albert ?
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979 |
i like how u written ur situation in the poem. i also hope things get better for u and ur life...  ...?[This message has been edited by anonymous albert ? (edited 04-19-2001).] |
||
|
Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
Today seems to be the You-Dont-Know-It day. Tons of people put lines like that one today haha....it's a good line! Anyway very good poem....i played guitar to it..nice  I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. |
||
|
Fading Away
since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131Lynchburg, Virginia |
This is very nicely written. You've expresed yourself very well, and the way you portrayed your emotions is excellent. Very nice job. --Marie subconsciously, i think i can eat so much to make my stomach hurt, instead of my heart. |
||
|
Sabriel.s.h.lover Member
since 2001-04-16
Posts 73b.f.e. aka- Hickville |
Dopey, U played guitar 2 it? wow. I try and make the best out of my poems. Thanks all Sabriel~ |
||
|
Child of the Stars
since 2000-09-07
Posts 1658Ann Arbor, MI |
Yep...knowing they don't know sucks, you know? Heh, well not that I can relate to your sit. at the mo. but this was very good....see ya round! ~Carly There is pleasure in poetic pains which only poets know......~Unknown |
||
|
Low Man's Lyric Member
since 2001-04-03
Posts 236In a dream |
Excellent poem, I can really relate to this. Keep em coming. Give her two red roses, each with a note. The first note says "For the woman I love" and the second, "For my best friend." |
||
|
banburycross Senior Member
since 2001-03-27
Posts 946viginia |
Great job on this, you really wrote it with a dreamy sense and expresssed yourself well in a very few words. keep posting your work. Sometimes, the things that go unsaid are the only things worth hearing. |
||
|
Acies
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665Twilight Zone |
Doesn't it seem hard to get the one/things we truly want  never give up. Just don't do it the wrong way. keep sharing"So long as men can breathe or eyes can see, |
||
xShUgArHiGhx
since 2000-09-26
Posts 3150tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs |
I had a similar situation like this...my best guy friend liked this gurl who didnt care for him at all but he couldnt let go of loving her...but I loved him w/all my heart which he didnt know but yet i spent all my time devoted to trying to get her to give him a chance..well one day i cracked and couldnt take it anymore because when in trying to get over him i hooked up with this guy...and then my friend called me a slut or w/e and i just screamed out that i loved him and i explained to him everything...and we've been together since!! LoL So i guess the point of my story was to say i've been there too and its REALLY tough..almost unbareable..but whatever is meant to happen will..good poem!!! |
||
|
|
⇧ top of page ⇧ |
|
| All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. | ||
