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Teen Poetry #4
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Venom
| Teen Poetry #4 |
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Venom |
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fozzyozzy Member
since 2001-03-15
Posts 336Lessburg Virginia 
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Venom I see your mouth is like a two-way street And your trust a locked door I know if I gave you a secret You'd lie and ask for more Destroyer of what was set before you Success is a fleeting reward For betrayal was it worth it To cut me deep with your sword My friends have been burned to Acid burns so does venom I suppose the truth of your friends You never wanted them Try and make yourself a stake Hammered 'tween to lovers You don't seem to care Hide behind your covers. -------------------------------------- I don't know if you folks noticed, but I'm on ICQ, and I would love to chat sometime  "The heart can think of no devotion |
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| © Copyright 2001 Sean Michael DeFlora - All Rights Reserved | |||
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banburycross Senior Member
since 2001-03-27
Posts 946viginia |
i like the images in this, and i especially like the images in the first stanza. i thought that the flow broke off in a couple of places, but overall this is good. keep posting your work. Sometimes, the things that go unsaid are the only things worth hearing. |
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Fading Away
since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131Lynchburg, Virginia |
This is a nice poem.. not my fav from you, but still very nice. Good job and keep posting. --Marie subconsciously, i think i can eat so much to make my stomach hurt, instead of my heart. |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
Nicely done. Very enjoyable read. You did well on this one.  I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. |
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Heavens Tears
since 2001-03-15
Posts 677 |
I really enjoyed this one. Maybe not your best, but still a great read. Keep it up! *If the only place I can live my dreams is in my sleep, then I'll sleep forever!* |
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