A Hero's Fate

How to Join	Member's Area	Private Library	Search	Sanctuary		Login
Main Forums	Discussion	Tech Talk	Mature Content	Archives	A home without a wall, Our haven without ends, A circle we all call Our Family of Friends!

Low Man's Lyric
Member

since 2001-04-03

Posts 236
In a dream

0 posted 2001-04-18 05:10 PM

The smell of death fills this sky,
if we stand still we shall all die.
The enemy is death and death is he,
if you fight him now you will never be.

The hero has arrived with his sword held high,
then thrusts it downward near his thigh.
Knowing the battle will begin soon,
he fears nothing, not even doom.

The battle has begun in the burning streets,
the hero has fought and won many feats.
But death isn't without his reputation,
he kills and kills with extreme mutilation.

Many souls surround the two fighters as they fight,
screaming and moaning with all their might.
Death laughs as the souls scream,
the hero must win, but is the thought a dream?

Klangs and bangs ring out for all to hear,
the thought of the hero dead is for all to fear.
Suddenly the hero slashes death across his chest,
the poeple knew he was the best.
Death falls on his knees and drops his sword,
the hero raises his as he prays to the lord.
But death is sneaky and very smart,
so he pulled a knife and struck it into the heart.

The hero falls back as he calls his loves name, "oh my Emily",
but the hero forgot one simple rule, always keep your eye on your enemy.

Give her two red roses, each with a note. The first note says "For the woman I love" and the second, "For my best friend."
~Anonymous

banburycross
Senior Member

since 2001-03-27

Posts 946
viginia

1 posted 2001-04-18 05:22 PM

wow, the ending to this one was certainly a surprise, i was rather hoping that the hero would beat death. anyway, great story and thanks for the read, keep posting all of your work.

Sometimes, the things that go unsaid are the only things worth hearing.

Sabriel.s.h.lover
Member

since 2001-04-16

Posts 73
b.f.e. aka- Hickville

2 posted 2001-04-18 05:38 PM

This poem, in my opinion was very sad but very well written. I liked it alot.
sabriel

Deranger
Member

since 2000-05-10

Posts 498
Somewhere, between here and there

3 posted 2001-04-18 06:06 PM

What's that about never really beating death? Anyway, cool method and direction, i really enjoyed the beginning...

Spreading insanity, one post at a time

My skull has glowing green eyes

lonely*soul
Member

since 2001-04-05

Posts 396
east haddam (moodus) ct :)

4 posted 2001-04-18 06:20 PM

that was a very surprising break form the usual depressing or loves poems i often see on here...very surprising ending too...and i thought the hero won...awsome job

~*KiM*~

" im surrounded by people, but yet im still all alone"

LoneWolf
Member

since 2001-03-10

Posts 384
IL

5 posted 2001-04-18 09:59 PM

Hey, i really liked this one. i thought the ending was great. i guess death gets us all in the end. well great poem and hope to see more from you

It's too bad I'm not as wonderful a person as people say I am, because the world could use a few people like that.

I've learned that even when you

Hand Me Down
Junior Member

since 2001-04-08

Posts 32
WV

6 posted 2001-04-19 01:30 AM

ROCK! Dude this is another awsome work of yours, keep em coming

"Cause I can't fix something this complex anymore than I can build a rose"

Fading Away

Member Elite

since 2001-03-14

Posts 3131
Lynchburg, Virginia

7 posted 2001-04-19 10:41 AM

VERY nicely done! I loved the ending!
Awesome job..

--Marie

subconsciously, i think i can eat so much to make my stomach hurt, instead of my heart.

Allan Riverwood

Member Elite

since 2001-01-04

Posts 3502
Winnipeg

8 posted 2001-04-19 12:03 PM

Awesome! Outstanding! Marvelous! Splenderiffic!
Ok ok... I have to calm down, I'm talking like Carly.

I love this poem!  Everything about it is great!
Who knew I'd get two new poems in my library in one day?
Nobody cheats death!  Mwa ha ha!
Oh and by the way... while I was reading it I thought "hey, isn't this Low Man's Lyric, the guy who posts poetry that would fit on a licence plate?"
You really did a great long poem!  I hope to see lots more.
~Allan

Build a man a fire, and he's warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.
~Unknown

Dopey Dope

Moderator

Member Patricius

since 2000-08-30

Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico

9 posted 2001-04-19 02:57 PM

This was great. I enjoyed the story VERY much. I felt that it kinda got scattered at the end though. Anyhow, I liked this one a lot.

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

Low Man's Lyric
Member

since 2001-04-03

Posts 236
In a dream

10 posted 2001-04-19 06:39 PM

Thanks for all your replies, it means alot to me. Ha ha licence plate, thanks Allan

Give her two red roses, each with a note. The first note says "For the woman I love" and the second, "For my best friend."
~Anonymous

cherish
Senior Member

since 2001-03-25

Posts 1639
swimming in fairy floss...........

11 posted 2001-04-19 09:05 PM

wow..that was great!!..i like the rest of the guys LOVED the ending..i mean it was kinda logical that death should riegn supreme in life...grim i know..but that was conveyed wonderfully in your poem.
great story

"Life is not long and boring,
it's short and compelling." -Javier Agosto-

Acies

Moderator

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-06-07

Posts 7665
Twilight Zone

12 posted 2001-04-24 05:48 PM

You're a very good in narration. Awesome read my friend. Boy, that was really good

"So long as men can breathe or eyes can see,
So long lives this, and this give life to thee." W.S.

anonymous albert ?

Member Elite

since 2001-03-23

Posts 2979

13 posted 2001-04-24 06:25 PM

awesome read and a great poem enjoyed.keep writing

...?

death is not the greatest loss in life. the greatest loss is what dies inside us while we live. -norman cousins

	⇧ top of page ⇧
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.