Teen Poetry #4 |
Once in a blue moon. |
Marshalzu
since 2001-02-15
Posts 2681Lurking |
Once In a Blue Moon. Once In a blue moon You meet a girl Who captures your heart and steals it Takes your breath and leaves you speechless Left star struck and dumbfounded Lying awake in your own dream You are immortal unaware of your fragile existence You are not prone to fear or terror for fear and terror are afraid of you Happiness is existing and your existence is purposeful. The first poem that I ever wrote... it's not my favourite... but it means more to me than many of the others that I have written... <<<_ Andrew _>>> " No Army can conquer a galaxy, yet faith alone can overturn the universe." |
||
© Copyright 2001 Andrew Sewell - All Rights Reserved | |||
banburycross Senior Member
since 2001-03-27
Posts 946viginia |
the last line of this poem is truly awsome, i really like that line. i think that looking at the poem as a whole you can definetely see that you've improved as a writer since you've been here, but this is in no way a bad poem. keep posting all your work. Sometimes, the things that go unsaid are the only things worth hearing. |
||
Child of the Stars
since 2000-09-07
Posts 1658Ann Arbor, MI |
And I can see why...this was very good...very heartfelt emotions in here...I loved it..thankies for sharin, Zu. ~Carly There is pleasure in poetic pains which only poets know......~Unknown |
||
fozzyozzy Member
since 2001-03-15
Posts 336Lessburg Virginia |
Yeah every blue moon is right. Unfortunately for me, more times than not, I'm waiting for the next blue moon I find that the first poem is usually one of the best in a collection. To me it signifies an introduction to a genius too shy to come out full blast. If this was X amount of months ago when you first wrote it, I would tell you good job and keep posting. "The heart can think of no devotion |
||
Fading Away
since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131Lynchburg, Virginia |
This is definitely one of my favs from you, Andrew. These thoughts are beautiful. You're luck to have found someone like that. I enjoyed the read, as always! Nicely done. --Marie subconsciously, i think i can eat so much to make my stomach hurt, instead of my heart. |
||
Allan Riverwood
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502Winnipeg |
My first poem was an angry one to my mother, that I can't post due to guidelines. I really really enjoyed reading this, Zu. I was thinking as I read it, "this must be one of his elder works." I could tell because, when writing our first poem, we usually put a lot of our best thoughts down without a thought to "save" them for later, and end up mentioning a lot of things in one poem. I saw this here. Great job man! You're a well of creativity that's not likely to run dry any time soon. ~Allan Build a man a fire, and he's warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life. |
||
Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
My first was about football was a woman she would be my wife. haha. Ok anyway....i enjoyed this. not yer best, but it was your first. The last line was very meaningful. I enjoyed it. I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. |
||
⇧ top of page ⇧ | ||
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. |