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Teen Poetry #4
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first kiss
| Teen Poetry #4 |
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first kiss |
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lonely*soul Member
since 2001-04-05
Posts 396east haddam (moodus) ct :) |
this may not seem like the right rythem or anything..but if this isnt a real poem i dont know what is, its from the heart, and i consumed myself in it. but still...reply and tell me what ya think k?? "the first kiss" My head layed upon his chest, I can feel the beat of his heart While mine skips a beat So does his I know this is right Nothing in the world seems wrong My shaking hand fits perfectly in his And he strokes my hair And I feel loved for the first time in my life my other hand laying across his stomach I can feel him breath And I know this is real He reaches for my lips and touches them with his fingers kisses me softly and parts my lips with his tongue my mind goes blank and I cant think of anything else he still holds my hand I had never felt so close to anyone My mind was all him I wanted it to last forever The feeling of knowing your loved And he knowing the same My heart and mind stood still And I knew it was real " im surrounded by people, but yet im still all alone" [This message has been edited by lonely*soul (edited 04-19-2001).] |
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| © Copyright 2001 kimberly - All Rights Reserved | |||
Linc
since 2001-03-07
Posts 552The Backstreet Boy |
Hey, I don't care what anyone says I think its very sweet. Until your next poem -- Linc "Once you reach your original goal it seems that the journey was your real accomplishment." |
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Low Man's Lyric Member
since 2001-04-03
Posts 236In a dream |
THIS IS A GREAT POEM!! If this isn't a poem then I don't know what is. I just love this, thanks for sharing. Hope to read more in the future. Oh and you mispelled tongue he he sorry about that but I just wanted you to know   Give her two red roses, each with a note. The first note says "For the woman I love" and the second, "For my best friend." |
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Sabriel.s.h.lover Member
since 2001-04-16
Posts 73b.f.e. aka- Hickville |
I really liked this poem ALOT! it's going in my library.sabriel |
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Acies
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665Twilight Zone |
Enjoyed every line of it. Reminds me of my first kiss too  thanks for sharing and keep it up"So long as men can breathe or eyes can see, |
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Kicking Kim Member
since 2001-04-16
Posts 426Cloud Cucko Land! |
This is a truly heart racing poem, if this isn't a poem then I agree with you, I don't know what is! It had me on the edge of my seat all the way through and its a beautiful poem about the true beauties of life! Well written  ^*~Kicking Kim~*^ "Theres no posession, just obsession and growing depression" [This message has been edited by Kicking Kim (edited 04-18-2001).] |
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banburycross Senior Member
since 2001-03-27
Posts 946viginia |
well dagum. this is my favorite poem that i've read by you thus far, it is truly incredible. i love this poem, it's going into my library. keep writing great poetry. Sometimes, the things that go unsaid are the only things worth hearing. |
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lonely*soul Member
since 2001-04-05
Posts 396east haddam (moodus) ct :) |
thanx for the replys you guys..wow 2 whole ppl are actully puttin this in their library im syked lol but thanx again *~KiM~* " im surrounded by people, but yet im still all alone" |
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Rach813 Junior Member
since 2001-04-17
Posts 30Maine |
This is a really good poem! You are right if this isn't a poem then what is? I enjoyed reading this and it reminded me of my first kiss also! Keep up the great writing~Rach~ |
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lonely*soul Member
since 2001-04-05
Posts 396east haddam (moodus) ct :) |
hey guys hows it goin..its me again...and im stumped..and a bit slow...i just cannot figure out how to put a poem in my library lol...so if you can, when u reply to my poem can one of you please explain!!! thanx a bunch!! <3 *~ME< KIMMIE~* " im surrounded by people, but yet im still all alone" [This message has been edited by lonely*soul (edited 04-19-2001).] |
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fozzyozzy Member
since 2001-03-15
Posts 336Lessburg Virginia |
Usually when you submit a poem, at the bottom of the page, it gives you a choice to submit a poem to your personal library. I absolutely love the way you described this. It made my heart skip a beat just reading it. Good job. "The heart can think of no devotion |
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branden726
since 2000-09-25
Posts 607Bay City, MI |
um......dont we all remember our first kiss...i well i think i do i dont know tho theres been so many. Well my first kiss wasnt till 6th grade. Didnt get no more untill 8th. But anyways good poem i liked it. "i just love when you bring your whole crew because its just a bigger piece of cake for me to chew threw" |
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Fading Away
since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131Lynchburg, Virginia |
This is such a sweet poem, and a very nice rememberance of the first kiss. Hehe.. very nice work. --Marie subconsciously, i think i can eat so much to make my stomach hurt, instead of my heart. |
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Allan Riverwood
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502Winnipeg |
This is definitely a real poem. Very excellent observations made here, the emotions are so clear. The last line is also outstanding. Oh and at the bottom, one of the "options" buttons is "add this thread to your library." Which is the button I'm hitting right now. ~Allan Build a man a fire, and he's warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life. |
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knightlyshadows Senior Member
since 2001-04-14
Posts 791obscured vision |
 <~~ i hope i did that right lol *is a newbie here* i dont have the "option" button of adding this to my library down there *points* how else can i do it? im blonde so speak clearlyi really love this piece! im sending it to my boyfriend  <~~hoped that did too! newayz..my mind goes blank and I cant think of anything else/.../I had never felt so close to anyone/My mind was all him ^^^^^^ that is fantastic!!!!!! ty for sharing this *hugs* tiff |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
I felt this poem was great. Very heartfelt. I found one thing that I didn't like though. You went straight from his fingers touching your lips to his tongue spreading them apart. I found that to be a bit quick. Maybe an extra line in bewteen them sayin he leaned in or something. Anyway nicely done here.  I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. |
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anonymous albert ?
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979 |
great poem ..i haven't seen much of ur work but NOW i'm really looking forward..hehe..yea keep writing  ...? |
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knightlyshadows Senior Member
since 2001-04-14
Posts 791obscured vision |
aight sorry for postin twice but this is the only way i know how to add u to my library so umm yea. lol tiff  |
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Acies
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665Twilight Zone |
when you reply, there are options and one of them is to add the poem to your personal library "So long as men can breathe or eyes can see, |
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Starr Member
since 2001-02-08
Posts 100 |
This is so real.... I love it! It kind of brings back almost forgotten memories of my first kiss. It is special...the first kiss... thank you for making me remember.Keep on posting Every action of our lives touches some chord that will vibrate in eternity. |
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cherish Senior Member
since 2001-03-25
Posts 1639swimming in fairy floss........... |
aw this such a beautifully sweet poem!..although i cant say my first kiss went exactly like that i must say that reading your poem sent shivers down my spine  "Life is not long and boring, |
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katherine Member
since 2000-06-10
Posts 365Canberra Australia |
wow. this is so great. your luckyyour first kiss was so nice. it's such a sweet poem! keep it up. ~kate |
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