»
Archives
»
Teen Poetry #4
»
Carnival of Life
| Teen Poetry #4 |
|
Carnival of Life |
|
|
Dana Samples Member
since 2001-04-07
Posts 68 |
"Carnival of Life" life is one big circus wheel round and round it goes some times going chaotic screams only echoes ungodly clowns by both side bring only the past now utterly disfigured a mutated outcast must go and join the side show all the sharks can view hungry for disfigured skin must be on the menu down on the cotton candy floor body now all greased sharks tare your body apart now laying deceased….. (…silence…) "You have now been consumed by the Carnival of death!" By: Dana Samples 4-17-01 (hey guys thanks for reading. if you don't catch what i am talking about it has to do with life. i'll let you interpet it your own way from there. it also doesn't flow very well but like that for a reason. thanks again. cheers!!) [This message has been edited by Dana Samples (edited 04-17-2001).] |
||
| © Copyright 2001 Dana Samples - All Rights Reserved | |||
|
Kosetsu Member
since 2001-03-10
Posts 450Alabama, USA |
This one's pretty good...not your best that I've seen though. I like the dark use of words. -Kosetsu It can't be! |
||
|
Dana Samples Member
since 2001-04-07
Posts 68 |
i know that it isn't one of my best but its how i think of life sometimes. glad you like the dark words. cheers!! lots of love, dana |
||
Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
Actually i truly enjoyed this one greatly! This was awesome. So creative here. VERY well done.  I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. |
||
|
Acies
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665Twilight Zone |
This is really dark but is still an interesting read. keep it up and keep sharing "So long as men can breathe or eyes can see, |
||
|
Allan Riverwood
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502Winnipeg |
The ending was hilarious! It made me laugh out loud. Was I supposed to? Help me out here, Dana.  ~Allan Build a man a fire, and he's warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life. |
||
|
anonymous albert ?
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979 |
hey i liked this one a lot...the whole thing was just great...thanks for sharing...  ...?if i die before i wake , i pray the lord my soul will take-"when thugs cry" |
||
|
vixengrl04 Member
since 2001-04-26
Posts 495East Haddam, CT |
I love the metaphors here, life can surely be so much like a carnival, only I feel more like a mime! Good job though!  ~*Nikki*~ ~*Of all the millions of people in the world, I'm just me.*~ |
||
|
banburycross Senior Member
since 2001-03-27
Posts 946viginia |
this is a truly excellent use of metaphor in this piece, i like this a whole lot. i thought the flow in this one was good to, you wrote this well. keep posting all your work. Sometimes, the things that go unsaid are the only things worth hearing. |
||
|
Fading Away
since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131Lynchburg, Virginia |
VERY nice work, Dana... as usual This one is, personally, one of the best I've read from you. I loved the flow, and the use of the metaphor was awesome. Nice work. The ending was cute Good job!--Marie "You're the girl of my nightmares. |
||
|
|
⇧ top of page ⇧ |
|
| All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. | ||
