Teen Poetry #4 |
heat |
CLBinLOVE Member
since 2000-06-04
Posts 147Hilton Head, SC, USA |
heat sun bearing down sweating burning depressing no breeze in sight the heat kills the sound of everything pressure like 1,000 leagues under the sea puts everything in slow motion boreing "go outside and play!" stuck outside "its too hot!" everyone else is inside buffered from the heat bye central AC and cold drinks sweat dripping sticking to my clothes and body humid it feels like 110 it probably is i hate this heat the pool usually cool, refreshing made hot and thick by the heat the faucet my only retreat cold water last a short while heat oppressive, pressure, sweat humid, boreing, silent hot not for me ~~this is a story of how i spent some of the hottest days in South Carolina, stuck outside, bored outta my mind, and sweating, thought id work on my imagry a bit, nothin speacial thanx let the fighting words lie |
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© Copyright 2001 Craig Baker - All Rights Reserved | |||
Isabel Galaxia Senior Member
since 2000-06-18
Posts 733 |
Makes perfect sense. I like your last line...if SC's not for you...then what is....Costa Rica? Boston maybe? Hmmm. Te amo, Bel [This message has been edited by Isabel Galaxia (edited 04-17-2001).] |
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LoveBug
Moderator
Member Elite
since 2000-01-08
Posts 4697 |
I know what it's like to burn up in a southern summer, and you describe it really well. However, it's really cold outside now so I kinda wish it was a little like this! Thanks for sharing! "Men judge generally more by the eye than by the hand, for everyone can see and few can feel."-Machiavelli |
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Fading Away
since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131Lynchburg, Virginia |
Very nicely done, CLB. I understand what you mean... southern summers can be deadly Nice job. --Marire subconsciously, i think i can eat so much to make my stomach hurt, instead of my heart. |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
Awwwww mi amor....y yo te amo tambien!!!! Nice poem....heat is the bomb!!! I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. |
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banburycross Senior Member
since 2001-03-27
Posts 946viginia |
I liked this, it was very straight forward and used a lot of good imagery. you really made the reader feel this poem, very nicely done. Sometimes, the things that go unsaid are the only things worth hearing. |
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Isabel Galaxia Senior Member
since 2000-06-18
Posts 733 |
Awwww! Look's like Dopey loves you Bel |
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CLBinLOVE Member
since 2000-06-04
Posts 147Hilton Head, SC, USA |
nononono he was talkin to you babe, he loves YOU, i didnt say anything in spanish! |
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Allan Riverwood
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502Winnipeg |
Whatever... Dopey loves everyone! Good job on this, I agree that heat sucks. ~Allan Build a man a fire, and he's warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life. |
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Allan Riverwood
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502Winnipeg |
er... the temperature, that is. Not the poem. |
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