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Teen Poetry #4
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CLBinLOVE
Member
since 2000-06-04
Posts 147
Hilton Head, SC, USA

0 posted 2001-04-17 08:27 PM


heat
sun bearing down
sweating
burning

depressing
no breeze in sight
the heat kills the sound
of everything

pressure
like 1,000 leagues
under the sea
puts everything in slow motion

boreing
"go outside and play!"
stuck outside
"its too hot!"

everyone else is inside
buffered from the heat
bye central AC
and cold drinks

sweat
dripping
sticking
to my clothes and body

humid
it feels like 110
it probably is
i hate this heat

the pool
usually cool, refreshing
made hot and thick
by the heat

the faucet
my only retreat
cold water
last a short while

heat
oppressive, pressure, sweat
humid, boreing, silent
hot

not for me

~~this is a story of how i spent some of the hottest days in South Carolina, stuck outside, bored outta my mind, and sweating, thought id work on my imagry a bit, nothin speacial
thanx

let the fighting words lie
let the candle light die
let the sun come up
let the same imply
~EvE 6


© Copyright 2001 Craig Baker - All Rights Reserved
Isabel Galaxia
Senior Member
since 2000-06-18
Posts 733

1 posted 2001-04-17 09:06 PM


Makes perfect sense.  I like your last line...if SC's not for you...then what is....Costa Rica?  Boston maybe?  Hmmm.
Te amo,
Bel

[This message has been edited by Isabel Galaxia (edited 04-17-2001).]

LoveBug
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
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Member Elite
since 2000-01-08
Posts 4697

2 posted 2001-04-17 09:40 PM


I know what it's like to burn up in a southern summer, and you describe it really well. However, it's really cold outside now so I kinda wish it was a little like this!  

Thanks for sharing!

"Men judge generally more by the eye than by the hand, for everyone can see and few can feel."-Machiavelli
Blame Canada!

Fading Away
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131
Lynchburg, Virginia
3 posted 2001-04-17 10:58 PM


Very nicely done, CLB.  I understand what you mean... southern summers can be deadly    Nice job.

--Marire

subconsciously, i think i can eat so much to make my stomach hurt, instead of my heart.

Dopey Dope
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Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico
4 posted 2001-04-17 11:59 PM


Awwwww mi amor....y yo te amo tambien!!!!
Nice poem....heat is the bomb!!!

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

banburycross
Senior Member
since 2001-03-27
Posts 946
viginia
5 posted 2001-04-18 11:14 AM


I liked this, it was very straight forward and used a lot of good imagery.  you really made the reader feel this poem, very nicely done.

Sometimes, the things that go unsaid are the only things worth hearing.

Isabel Galaxia
Senior Member
since 2000-06-18
Posts 733

6 posted 2001-04-19 12:30 PM


Awwww!  Look's like Dopey loves you  
Bel

CLBinLOVE
Member
since 2000-06-04
Posts 147
Hilton Head, SC, USA
7 posted 2001-04-19 05:33 PM


nononono he was talkin to you babe, he loves YOU, i didnt say anything in spanish!
Allan Riverwood
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Member Elite
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502
Winnipeg
8 posted 2001-04-19 06:01 PM


Whatever... Dopey loves everyone!  

Good job on this, I agree that heat sucks.  
~Allan

Build a man a fire, and he's warm for a day.  Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.  
~Unknown

Allan Riverwood
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502
Winnipeg
9 posted 2001-04-19 06:02 PM


er... the temperature, that is.  Not the poem.  
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