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princess^sarah
Member

since 2001-01-12

Posts 131
melbourne

0 posted 2001-04-15 08:45 PM

You look up into my eyes,
your eyes are cold as stone.
Tears flow down your eyes,
like raindrops.
Your hands upon,
my hands.
Your arms stiff,
as an old bar gate.

Your heart once lived for me,
Your eyes once cried.

Your bones once worked,
but now your old and limp.

Your limp as,
the carrots on my dinner plate.

I cry and cry and cry,
as you die and die and die.

lol this is kinda sad in parts near the start and funny near the middle

i just found this one in my old school english book.
its a poem i wrote when i was 12

lol enjoy...

lonely*soul
Member

since 2001-04-05

Posts 396
east haddam (moodus) ct :)

1 posted 2001-04-15 08:49 PM

hahahahahha i had to read this one as soon as i saw the title...i must admitt this is just a lil bit too metephorical or howev you spell it...but whatev floats ur bout hun~~~!!!
<3 KiM

" im surrounded by people, but yet im still all alone"

Allan Riverwood

Member Elite

since 2001-01-04

Posts 3502
Winnipeg

2 posted 2001-04-15 09:28 PM

It's nice... I think it uses similies and not metaphors but it was quite amusing.

I hope you're over all that by now.
~Allan

Build a man a fire, and he's warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.
~Unknown

anonymous albert ?

Member Elite

since 2001-03-23

Posts 2979

3 posted 2001-04-16 03:49 AM

yep!
different but interestin nicely done sarah i liked it

seems like ur talent 4 poetry showed at a early age lol

Marshalzu

Member Elite

since 2001-02-15

Posts 2681
Lurking

4 posted 2001-04-16 10:07 AM

I enjoyed this loads... I absoloutely adored the title... keep on posting.
Andrew.

" No Army can conquer a galaxy, yet faith alone can overturn the universe."

Linc

Senior Member

since 2001-03-07

Posts 552
The Backstreet Boy

5 posted 2001-04-16 11:06 AM

Hey,

yeah different

keep the poems coming

-- Linc

"Once you reach your original goal it seems that the journey was your real accomplishment."

Fading Away

Member Elite

since 2001-03-14

Posts 3131
Lynchburg, Virginia

6 posted 2001-04-16 11:30 AM

Heh.. this was entertaining. Poems like these are always fun to write

--Marie

subconsciously, i think i can eat so much to make my stomach hurt, instead of my heart.

Dopey Dope

Moderator

Member Patricius

since 2000-08-30

Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico

7 posted 2001-04-16 03:04 PM

See you guys wrote great at 12.....you actually tried to write about things that mattered. I wrote about football haha.
Good poem to see how you once wrote....

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

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