Teen Poetry #4 |
untitled |
lonely*soul Member
since 2001-04-05
Posts 396east haddam (moodus) ct :) |
hey guys this is only my 2nd poem posted here..but this is how im feeling, and im not always like this, but i have my moments (so for allans reply below...i write happy poems too!!) lol enjoy Mascara running down my cheeks And tears collecting on the tissue Thoughts flowing through my head About my every flaw and issue I run my finger across my face And wipe away my tears This is my escape from my pain My escape from my fears Nothing anyone says or does Can ever change the facts That all the tears that I shed Cover all of what I lack I lack the worthiness of my friends I lack all attractiveness I lack the thing that I most want I lack the inner bliss Everyone takes for granted How I help them all The worthlessness feeling I undergo Is just another long fall I’m never good enough for anyone And I don’t believe I will ever be All I have to offer them Isn’t that good at all All it is, is me [This message has been edited by lonely*soul (edited 04-15-2001).] |
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© Copyright 2001 kimberly - All Rights Reserved | |||
Allan Riverwood
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502Winnipeg |
Oh, cheer up. This kind of poetry doesn't exactly appeal to me to be quite honest, I don't think it's productive for you either. You should count your talents and merits, not all the things you don't like about yourself. Just try that sometime. ~Allan Build a man a fire, and he's warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life. |
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Child of the Stars
since 2000-09-07
Posts 1658Ann Arbor, MI |
Smile, you become 4832742649327 times better. ~Carly There are pleasures in poetic pains that only poets know......~Unknown |
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chas Member
since 2001-04-08
Posts 101Lynn, ma |
i really like this poem, i felt that the last line was meant as a question for all you peers and family, great poem. |
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katherine Member
since 2000-06-10
Posts 365Canberra Australia |
this is so sad. i know how feeling that way is. just remember your awesome don't let anybody ever tell you otherwise! feel better real soon! ~kate 'Love starts with a smile, grows with a kiss, and ends with a tear.' |
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lonely*soul Member
since 2001-04-05
Posts 396east haddam (moodus) ct :) |
hey guys thanx for all your replys!!! ill be putting some more up pretty soon ~*KiM*~ " im surrounded by people, but yet im still all alone" |
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Fading Away
since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131Lynchburg, Virginia |
This is a good poem, but I like what Allan said. Take that advice. I hope you don't always feel this way. I understand that people have their days.. that's a given. But just remember that everyone you were referring to in this poem care about you a great deal. *hugs* Keep smiling. --Marie subconsciously, i think i can eat so much to make my stomach hurt, instead of my heart. |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
Really Carly? That much better? LIAR! Anyhow....I enjoyed this poem a lot. You wrote it very well, and although it's written in the sense that you had a low self esteem it was still a good poem. I enjoyed it, but do get better. I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. |
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Marshalzu
since 2001-02-15
Posts 2681Lurking |
Carly I can't believe it makes you that much better... I certainly didn't feel and better... Great poem I thought... I'm glad you write happy poetry as well and i'll be keeping an eye open for more of your work... Til then. <<_Andrew_>> " No Army can conquer a galaxy, yet faith alone can overturn the universe." |
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anonymous albert ?
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979 |
"ignores every1 elses replys" except....but carly do u really think? yea ... i liked it though it was nicely written. good job |
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LoveBug
Moderator
Member Elite
since 2000-01-08
Posts 4697 |
I can relate to this really well. I know exactly what its like to feel like you can never measure up, and it isn't plesant. You describe it well. I just hope you begin to feel comfortable with yourself. You should be comfortable with yourself as a writer at least, because this is really good. Thanks for sharing. "Men judge generally more by the eye than by the hand, for everyone can see and few can feel."-Machiavelli |
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banburycross Senior Member
since 2001-03-27
Posts 946viginia |
I like this a lot, i thought the emotions throughout were really beautiful. i've felt exactly the same way on more than one occasion and i know that writing always helps me deal. i look forward to reading lots more of your work. Sometimes, the things that go unsaid are the only things worth hearing. |
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Heavens Tears
since 2001-03-15
Posts 677 |
Giving you is plenty. Dont let anyone tell you otherwise. *If the only place I can live my dreams is in my sleep, then I'll sleep forever!* |
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Low Man's Lyric Member
since 2001-04-03
Posts 236In a dream |
Even though it was sad it was still a good poem. But such a good poem shouldn't be labled as "untitled". Give her two red roses, each with a note. The first note says "For the woman I love" and the second, "For my best friend." |
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Linc
since 2001-03-07
Posts 552The Backstreet Boy |
Hey, This is a great poem, its sad but still great hope to see more posts from you (hint hint) until your next poem (soon I hope) -- Linc "Once you reach your original goal it seems that the journey was your real accomplishment." |
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Acies
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665Twilight Zone |
Why do you even look at yourself that low? Well I guess in some certain situations, we question our self worth. Well my friend, maybe you should be around people who appreciate you and not those people that are probably just "using" you. The poem is really good. I enjoyed it a lot "So long as men can breathe or eyes can see, |
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