Teen Poetry #4 |
Dreams |
princess^sarah Member
since 2001-01-12
Posts 131melbourne |
Too Many dreams I cannot follow Too many dreams my heart can't swallow Too many days my dreams bring me tears Too many days my dreams are my fears We dream our dreams to set our goals To wish us luck, to fill the holes But now my dreams seem so wrong So far away, so very long I dreamed to be who I could be I dreamed there was a perfect me But reality has killed my dream My hope flows down an endless stream All my life I've dreamed a dream, that I could be who others seem Now life has turned my dream to shame It's taught me I'm wrong and all to blame My tears run dry, my hopes sink low Sweet dreams are over, no place to go This endless dream my world has built, Has torn my life to morn and filth Why do I dream too many dreams, my voice is silent, inside I scream Into the dark, I sacrafice, too many dreams, I end this fight. |
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© Copyright 2001 sarah alford - All Rights Reserved | |||
anonymous albert ?
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979 |
it was nicely written.i liked this one sarah .keep writing [This message has been edited by anonymous albert ? (edited 04-15-2001).] |
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Fading Away
since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131Lynchburg, Virginia |
This is a very well written poem, Sarah. It's filled with pain and emotion. I just hope you understand that dreams aren't meant to harm anyone. They're supposed to be something to look forward to, to strive for. It seems like you're going through trying times. I'm sorry that things are hard for you, and I hope things get better soon. Just know that you have everyone here at Passions who care about you. Nicely done. --Marie subconsciously, i think i can eat so much to make my stomach hurt, instead of my heart. |
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Allan Riverwood
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502Winnipeg |
Marie's a wise girl, Sarah. Dreams are something personal that shouldn't be a bad thing, you should embrace them. However, I do think this poem was very well written, as everyone says. Great job. I liked the variation in line size. ~Allan Build a man a fire, and he's warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life. |
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Dark Enchantress Senior Member
since 1999-07-27
Posts 1258meet Morgana |
"Too many dreams are my fears" That line really got me. That's normally because our heart is going against what our mind is saying. (P.S. -> listen to your heart) Maybe rather than just giving up on your dreams, just revise them. Make them realistic and take steps. You can't be perfect (nobody is), but you can be perfect enough for you. After all, it's only your own opinion that truly matters. Anyway, you wrote a very good poem. I had a dream once that I could fly and I laughed at everyone and kicked them in the back of the head because they couldn't fly too. [This message has been edited by Dark Enchantress (edited 04-15-2001).] |
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Child of the Stars
since 2000-09-07
Posts 1658Ann Arbor, MI |
Ahh...dreams are sposed to be pretty...not icky. Hope things get peachy soon.... ~Carly There are pleasures in poetic pains that only poets know......~Unknown |
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lonely*soul Member
since 2001-04-05
Posts 396east haddam (moodus) ct :) |
opposed to what everyone else is saying, i liked it and its true..but thats what night mares are for silly!!!! anyways, i liked the rhyme sceme..good job on this one! " im surrounded by people, but yet im still all alone" |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
Great job on this one sarah! |
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