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Teen Poetry #4
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chas
Member
since 2001-04-08
Posts 101
Lynn, ma

0 posted 2001-04-14 12:03 PM



DREAMS

The chance for me to be happy, is as slim as it can be,
I am locked inside a cell, unable to get free,

My world is full of disappointments, my emotion full of pain,
The torments I have been through, would make a mortal man insane,

Every night I call for help, but no one is around to hear,
My mind can hardly think, it's clouded with too much fear,

Is there anybody out there, is there any one who cares,
I have been here way to long, I have been here 18 years,

Every day that I sleep, every night when I'm awake,
I plan for my moment, my moment to escape,

By now you should've known, that I wouldn’t be free until I die,
But I dream a dream so pretty, and that what's keeping me ALIVE.

© Copyright 2001 chas - All Rights Reserved
Spine Grinder
Senior Member
since 2000-10-28
Posts 1127
Standing In Silence...
1 posted 2001-04-14 12:34 PM


LOVELY!!!! i loved this poem. It was awesome.  Great main idea.
*S*staci

Fading Away
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since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131
Lynchburg, Virginia
2 posted 2001-04-14 01:29 PM


"Every night I call for help, but no one is around to hear,
My mind can hardly think, it's clouded with too much fear,"

This is a beautiful poem!  You did a marvelous job.  I really think you portrayed a lot here, and it made me have to sit back and think.  Nice job!

--Marie

subconsciously, i think i can eat so much to make my stomach hurt, instead of my heart.

LoneWolf
Member
since 2001-03-10
Posts 384
IL
3 posted 2001-04-14 01:58 PM


hey, i really really liked this poem. i know exactly what your talking about here. every daya and night the same thoughts accure to me. i don't think you missed a single thing with this. well i really enjoyed reading this one. great job on the poem.

It's too bad I'm not as wonderful a person as people say I am, because the world could use a few people like that.

I've learned that even when you

anonymous albert ?
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since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979

4 posted 2001-04-14 03:11 PM


outstanding poem!! i really related 2 this one.great job. i really liked it.
Allan Riverwood
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since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502
Winnipeg
5 posted 2001-04-14 07:58 PM


Good job here!  I really did enjoy it, it was well written.  Couplets are an interesting format to employ.  
~Allan

Build a man a fire, and he's warm for a day.  Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.  
~Unknown

banburycross
Senior Member
since 2001-03-27
Posts 946
viginia
6 posted 2001-04-15 12:15 PM


you did a great job portrying your emotion in this piece and i really liked the ending.  great job.

Sometimes, the things that go unsaid are the only things worth hearing.

Dopey Dope
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Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico
7 posted 2001-04-15 01:59 AM


Keep dreaming pal.....sometimes that's all we ever have. I got my dreams and I hold them so tight I think i've suffocated a few by now  
Great poem. You wrote this extremely well.

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

anonymous albert ?
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Posts 2979

8 posted 2001-04-30 12:57 PM


this needs to be on page one

as i really enjoyed this poem first time around...

...?

if i die before i wake , i pray the lord my soul will take-"when thugs cry"

anonymousfemale
Member Elite
since 2000-02-02
Posts 2797
Limbo
9 posted 2001-04-30 01:03 PM


Nice poem Chas. It definitely made me sit back and look at a few things in life itself.

Thanks for the read.

~AF~

" Your mother's in here with us Karras. Would you like to leave a message? I'll see that she gets it."
The Devil - The Exorcist

Suga_Baby
Member
since 2000-08-06
Posts 380
Maine, USA
10 posted 2001-04-30 04:48 PM


OMG this is so wickedly cool   haha WICKED.. sorry, it's a Maine thing   Wicked good job!  

"A dream is a wish your heart makes while you are fast asleep."

chas
Member
since 2001-04-08
Posts 101
Lynn, ma
11 posted 2001-05-01 10:52 PM


for all of those who missed out on this one,
i'm bringing it back for a one night stand..

Humm……..chocolate

xShUgArHiGhx
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Member Elite
since 2000-09-26
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tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs
12 posted 2001-05-03 06:09 PM


Superb!!!! I absolutely loved this one..this also related so much to the way i am and i love it when i can find poems that relate to my life   So keep on dreaming!
ethel lahootie
Member
since 2001-03-06
Posts 143
SC, USA
13 posted 2001-05-03 06:23 PM


i thought this was really good...i enjoyed it! GOOD JOB ~jO~
Acies
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Member Rara Avis
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Twilight Zone
14 posted 2001-05-08 09:48 AM


excellent post.
Stay dreaming as much as you can  
thanks for the most beautiful read
keep sharing

"So long as men can breathe or eyes can see,
So long lives this, and this give life to thee."  W.S.

SEA
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Member Seraphic
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Posts 22676
with you
15 posted 2001-05-08 09:51 AM


this is really great.....yes, keep dreaming, sometimes they come true    SEA
vixengrl04
Member
since 2001-04-26
Posts 495
East Haddam, CT
16 posted 2001-05-08 12:06 PM


Wow!!! This is really good, I love the way you wrote this, and the point that you were trying to make.  Great work, into my library it goes.  Keep posting!  

~*Nikki*~

~*Of all the millions of people in the world, I'm just me.*~

Pixie-Babe03
Member
since 2000-08-29
Posts 387
Central Maine
17 posted 2001-05-08 02:29 PM


i had never read any of your work before but this was enough to make me go looking for more!  this is great, beautifully written.   Can't wait to read more!
*Justine*

-=Love starts with a SMILE, grows with a KISS, and ends with a TEAR=-

knightlyshadows
Senior Member
since 2001-04-14
Posts 791
obscured vision
18 posted 2001-05-08 02:33 PM


ok that was awesome! i loved it!!!!!!!
great work!
thankies to whoever bumpeds it
tiff

“A single choice can build destinies,or destroy them.”

U in the dark u in the pain u on the run
Living a hell living ur ghost living ur hell

anonymous albert ?
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Member Elite
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979

19 posted 2001-05-08 05:36 PM


*bump*page one

i bumped it...and i bumped it and i bumps it again yay!!

...?

if i die before i wake , i pray the lord my soul will take-"when thugs cry"

artemis_selene
Junior Member
since 2001-05-07
Posts 14
virginia
20 posted 2001-05-08 05:40 PM


wow, this was pretty deep.... writing your thoughts down can be good therapy, so keep on truckin.


Lakewalker
Member Elite
since 2000-08-05
Posts 3289
On the streets w/ people
21 posted 2001-05-08 06:11 PM


Great job on this one chas!

"Be kind for everyone you meet is fighting a harder battle" Plato.

lonely*soul
Member
since 2001-04-05
Posts 396
east haddam (moodus) ct :)
22 posted 2001-05-08 06:15 PM


wow!!!!  i like this one alot..it hit me at the end..i dunno y..but its the poem that has most gotten my attention today..maybe b.c its such a true meaning...eh..i dunno  but awsome job...i love it@!
           *KiMMiE*

lonely*soul
Member
since 2001-04-05
Posts 396
east haddam (moodus) ct :)
23 posted 2001-05-08 06:22 PM


hit the library button kim!  urgh!  
chas
Member
since 2001-04-08
Posts 101
Lynn, ma
24 posted 2001-05-08 08:47 PM


thanks, it is so sweet of you all, and thanks anonymous albert, everyone take care of them self and peace out.
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