i dont plan on giving this one a title

How to Join	Member's Area	Private Library	Search	Sanctuary		Login
Main Forums	Discussion	Tech Talk	Mature Content	Archives	A home without a wall, Our haven without ends, A circle we all call Our Family of Friends!

knightlyshadows
Senior Member

since 2001-04-14

Posts 791
obscured vision

0 posted 2001-04-26 02:32 PM

ok this one looks way depressin but just so u know its just a bunch of words on paper and nothing about me!!!! *hugs*

Drowning, Drowning
choking on air
choking on life
choking on you

Suffocating, Suffocating
i cant catch my breath
i cant fix my life
i cant be with you

Dying, Dying
there is no air
there is no life
there is no you

“A single choice can build destinies,or destroy them.”

"at the touch of love anyone becomes a poet"

SEA

Moderator

Member Seraphic

since 2000-01-18

Posts 22676
with you

1 posted 2001-04-26 03:19 PM

it is sad, but I think many can relate....

lonely*soul
Member

since 2001-04-05

Posts 396
east haddam (moodus) ct :)

2 posted 2001-04-26 03:32 PM

i liked this one..and yes it was sad..and im sooo happy your not speaking from expeirience..but i can deffinatly relate!!!

*KiM*

"i once asked my daddy, daddy, are we going to the moon, and he said, we cant get to the moon from where we are" ~ME (hehe this actully happened to me

Godsend_1
Member

since 2001-04-19

Posts 247
great state of illinois

3 posted 2001-04-26 04:25 PM

wow ummmm wow i love you my precous dove on wings of gold *has no idea where that came from but he likes it* that was super sad tiffany and the very last line will always be false for you do have me

ben redshaw the great and deeply in love

i am what i am and that is all that i am and all that i shall ever be......so deal with it

MoeRocko
Member

since 2001-04-25

Posts 166
West Virginia

4 posted 2001-04-26 04:28 PM

Keel Tiff

nice word usage lol

Low Man's Lyric
Member

since 2001-04-03

Posts 236
In a dream

5 posted 2001-04-26 04:28 PM

I liked this poem, short and to the point (not that I don't enjoy long poems or anything) and its also sad and true.

Give her two red roses, each with a note. The first note says "For the woman I love" and the second, "For my best friend."
~Anonymous

Linc

Senior Member

since 2001-03-07

Posts 552
The Backstreet Boy

6 posted 2001-04-26 05:52 PM

Hey,

GREAT JOB!!! I loved it. until your next poem

-- Linc

"Once you reach your original goal it seems that the journey was your real accomplishment."

Dopey Dope

Moderator

Member Patricius

since 2000-08-30

Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico

7 posted 2001-04-26 06:24 PM

I didn't like this one. Not your best. I think you have done better. As for the message, it was sad and I have been through something like that....

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

Allan Riverwood

Member Elite

since 2001-01-04

Posts 3502
Winnipeg

8 posted 2001-04-26 08:27 PM

Javier's a nut, I did like this one. It was very creative, and I look forward to your next.

~Allan

Build a man a fire, and he's warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.
~Unknown

williamthepoet
Junior Member

since 2001-04-20

Posts 10

9 posted 2001-04-27 02:01 AM

Tiff i liked this a lot, however, i think it would be even better without the headings.

if you change your mind about the no title, i think drowning, suffocating, dying would be nice

william

To the world you may be one person, but to one person you may be the world

[This message has been edited by williamthepoet (edited 04-27-2001).]

	⇧ top of page ⇧
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.