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Teen Poetry #4

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Kosetsu
Member

since 2001-03-10

Posts 450
Alabama, USA

0 posted 2001-04-11 07:41 PM

Faded memories,
Mental mirage,
Endless silence,
Unrelenting barrage.

Amnesiac status,
And sleepless night,
Forgotten days,
Continued, stopless fight.

Prolonged tendencies,
Time flowing still,
Emotional,
Abyssal, voiding fill.

Halted life, continue,
Final day begin,
Fate returning,
Forgotten days of men.

It can't be!
He exists..
Master of the Oceans!
It's..
Leviathan...

© Copyright 2001 Adam Kamerer - All Rights Reserved

Ina
Senior Member

since 2000-10-09

Posts 1236
Quebec, Canada

1 posted 2001-04-11 07:43 PM

this was great, amazing words.

Regina

a small cut is only the beggining of a life in pain

Allan Riverwood

Deputy Moderator 1 Tour

Deputy Moderator 1 Tour

Member Elite

since 2001-01-04

Posts 3502
Winnipeg

2 posted 2001-04-11 10:16 PM

Good job! I agree with Regina, the lines you used were each powerful in an individual sense.

~Allan

Concieted?? Impossible! That would be a fault!

Dopey Dope

Deputy Moderator 1 Tour

Moderator

Member Patricius

since 2000-08-30

Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico

3 posted 2001-04-12 04:17 AM

I liked the poem. Well done!

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

banburycross
Senior Member

since 2001-03-27

Posts 946
viginia

4 posted 2001-04-12 12:08 PM

The short lines are what made this piece really powerful, you did an excellent job with the flow of this one. keep posting all your work.

Sometimes, the things that go unsaid are the only things worth hearing.

Linc

Deputy Moderator 1 Tour

Deputy Moderator 1 Tour

Deputy Moderator 1 Tour

Senior Member

since 2001-03-07

Posts 552
The Backstreet Boy

5 posted 2001-04-12 01:29 PM

Hey,

This was truly a superb poem; I am not sure why I liked it so much there are so many reasons. This is going in my library.

-- Linc

"Once you reach your original goal it seems that the journey was your real accomplishment."

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