Little Girl - pipTalk Forums

How to Join	Member's Area	Private Library	Search	Sanctuary		Login
Main Forums	Discussion	Tech Talk	Mature Content	Archives	A home without a wall, Our haven without ends, A circle we all call Our Family of Friends!

Fading Away

Member Elite

since 2001-03-14

Posts 3131
Lynchburg, Virginia

0 posted 2001-04-11 03:32 PM

Edited by Administrator

Child of the Stars

Senior Member

since 2000-09-07

Posts 1658
Ann Arbor, MI

1 posted 2001-04-11 04:12 PM

Meh, not as good as some others, but some really great thoughts in here....Another one to hit close to me. Keep postin and bein cool.

~Carly

NOTE TO SELF: Live to love and love to live.

LoveBug

Moderator

Member Elite

since 2000-01-08

Posts 4697

2 posted 2001-04-11 06:37 PM

This really hit home with me, since I have gone through times like this. The feelings are portrayed very well, and I'm sure that I'm not the only one who can relate. Not your most impressive piece when you consider structure and flow, but the feelings are just as strong as they are in the rest of your work. Thanks for sharing.

"Men judge generally more by the eye than by the hand, for everyone can see and few can feel."-Machiavelli

Honeybee
Member Ascendant

since 1999-12-26

Posts 5372
Ontario, CANADA

3 posted 2001-04-11 07:44 PM

Marie~

When I was a teenager, I often felt this way, but, time does eventually open the lid to that box. This is a very powerful, well expressed piece~

Take care,
Melissa~

Spine Grinder
Senior Member

since 2000-10-28

Posts 1127
Standing In Silence...

4 posted 2001-04-11 07:49 PM

i really liked this one even if you do hate it.lol.like your writing.nice work.

Allan Riverwood

Member Elite

since 2001-01-04

Posts 3502
Winnipeg

5 posted 2001-04-11 10:22 PM

Wow, Melissa came and visited us!

Cool!
Er and now for the poem....
Not your best. But I can't exactly offer constructive critiques, technically this poem is perfect as far as I could see. So suffice it to say it's as good as it's going to get.

~Allan

Concieted?? Impossible! That would be a fault!

Dopey Dope

Moderator

Member Patricius

since 2000-08-30

Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico

6 posted 2001-04-12 03:49 AM

I hope all gets better for you Marie....sounds like you're going through some trying times. *hugs*

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

banburycross
Senior Member

since 2001-03-27

Posts 946
viginia

7 posted 2001-04-12 11:25 AM

I like this poem because the way you wrote this piece really gives the reader the impression that they are hearing a little girls cry for help. This is very well written, even if it isn't your best. don't forget that you do have support if you ever need it. love you sweetie, keep posting your work.

Sometimes, the things that go unsaid are the only things worth hearing.

HappyPretender
Junior Member

since 2001-03-06

Posts 38
Prince George, VA

8 posted 2001-04-12 12:26 PM

This was really good! I love all your poems. Keep writing!!

<3~*Rachael*~<3
*we can't become what we need to be by remaining what we are*

Linc

Senior Member

since 2001-03-07

Posts 552
The Backstreet Boy

9 posted 2001-04-12 01:14 PM

Hey,

     You know you’re a great poet, you never cease you amaze me with your superb poetry. This poem is especially excellent because as Banburycross said you’re actually “hearing a little girls cry for help.” It will grace the poem of my library with the rest of your masterpieces. I hope you continue to grow and your poetry gets better. Until your next masterpiece

    -- Linc

"Once you reach your original goal it seems that the journey was your real accomplishment."

	⇧ top of page ⇧
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.