The Life of a land locked pirate.

When I was only three I wanted be a pirate,
So I went and asked my mother,
She said I could if I wanted to aspire for that,
But you see I have a problem,
That effects my whole career,
Something which I can’t condemn,
because I am a buccaneer,
I’m a land locked pirate,
I cannot see the sea,
When I’m enterprising private,
A pirate I can’t be,
I live deep in the Midlands,
All I can manage is a lake,
I want to see foreign lands,
Instead of a cutlass I have a rake,
I wanted my own boat one day,
So that I could rule the seven seas,
Something that could sail away,
So that I cannot see the trees,
All I can afford right now,
Is a plastic toy,
One day I’ll have a real one somehow,
Something I might enjoy,
I am a landlocked pirate,
I rule the local park,
I get the parents irate,
When I run round in the dark,
I am a one man enterprise,
I’m no black beard lets make that clear,
I’ll board your ship, watch you’re surprise,
I’m a fearless, land locked buccaneer.

Err well yes... I just had this vision the other day of a guy on a pond... I hope you find it well... humourous... It's not even trying to be serious really... by the way if anyone is a land locked pirate and is deeply offended I would be more than happy to counsel them.
Andrew