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Teen Poetry #4
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Daemons to be conquered and angels to be set free.
| Teen Poetry #4 |
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Daemons to be conquered and angels to be set free. |
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Marshalzu  
since 2001-02-15
Posts 2681Lurking 
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I'm not sure whether to call it " The Masquerade ball" / "Daemons to be conquered and Angels to be set free". Please help... I’m a devil in disguise, Bringing hate and pain, Running riot through your eyes, I take you back there again, Watch you as you talk away, See the way you look back, Wonder how you are today, And if my heart is black, We look into each others eyes, And I see I made a big mistake, Your an angel in disguise, And your tears would fill a lake, I turn away in shame, I know what I’ve done wrong, I played love like a game, My heart was going for a song, I took my love away from you, I was scared that I might get hurt, But now I realise your black and blue, And I’ve treated you like dirt. >>> Andrew <<< " No Army can conquer a galaxy, yet faith alone can overturn the universe." |
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| © Copyright 2001 Andrew Sewell - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Allan Riverwood
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502Winnipeg |
This is pretty good, but not fantastic... I think the title should be "the masquerade ball." It suits the poem more nicely.  ~Allan The sun was born, so it shall die. ~VNV Nation, "Further" |
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Fading Away
since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131Lynchburg, Virginia |
Another very nice job. I really enjoyed reading this one.. I think for the title, "Demons to be conquered and Angels to be set free" is too complicated of a title, but I don't think that "The Masquerade Ball" suits it either... But that's just personal opinion. Hmm.. I can't think of anything else that would really work well... Anyway, this is a nicely written poem. --Marie "Hope is a thing with feathers that perches in the soul." --Emily Dickinson |
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banburycross Senior Member
since 2001-03-27
Posts 946viginia |
This isn't your best, but you still did a decent job on this one. i think of the two possible title the masquerade ball works better, but that's me. Sometimes, the things that go unsaid are the only things worth hearing. |
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Heavens Tears
since 2001-03-15
Posts 677 |
Your current title does seem a little complicated, but I think Masquerade Ball doesnt quite suit the poem. Other than that, great job! *If the only place I can live my dreams is in my sleep, then I'll sleep forever!* |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
I liked this. Seems like a poem you wrote after a realization. Nicely done.  I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. |
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Attack Ferrit Junior Member
since 2001-04-09
Posts 41texas |
nice post. i would have to say " The Masquerade ball" for the title. |
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JBaker515
since 2001-02-28
Posts 458Dartmouth College |
I liked the poem, but i agree that the title should be changed, because to me title is very important in poems..if they are given one.. +++Jeff+++ |
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Marshalzu
since 2001-02-15
Posts 2681Lurking |
Ok thanks for all the help with the title... I think this might get filed... untitled... or maybe I just need the conviction to stick with the title that I like... Daemons to be conquered and angels to be set free. It maybe complicated but it suits it better than masquerade ball. Once again a very big thank you and lots of hugs to all those who replied... if the gentlemen would prefer they may have a firm handshake. Andrew. " No Army can conquer a galaxy, yet faith alone can overturn the universe." |
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