Teen Poetry #4 |
to my father |
Dana Samples Member
since 2001-04-07
Posts 68 |
hey guy this one is really personal and is hard for me to share but i trust you guys so be nice about replys please. "To My Father" You are my father my biological dad How could one person Make me feel so bad You gave me my life And my beautiful name I used to think it was me Now I know its you I should blame Why did you leave? You didn't have to walk away I am your daughter And I still need you everyday Holidays come and go I almost never get a card To show your daughter you care I didn't know could be so hard Have you ever looked back Especially at your wasted life You won't see your oldest daughter Or your very first wife How can you possibly relax And sit back in a seat When you have a child you have abandon And a wife I saw you beat Why you left I will probable never know I just can't believe That you were such a little boy you had to go You had the whole word in your hands But I guess you didn't care Now I know why the say Life isn't always fair by: dana samples [This message has been edited by Dana Samples (edited 04-08-2001).] |
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© Copyright 2001 Dana Samples - All Rights Reserved | |||
Allan Riverwood
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502Winnipeg |
This is very good... it had me gaping at the screen while I read it. Very emotional, very powerful. I love this style of poetry, sort of angry at a person, but talking down to them. It makes you seem very powerful in comparison to the person, who you portray as a "little boy." Very well done! ~Allan The sun was born, so it shall die. ~VNV Nation, "Further" |
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Fading Away
since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131Lynchburg, Virginia |
"Have you ever looked back Especially at your wasted life You won't see your oldest daughter Or your very first wife" This poem is very powerful. It makes me angry just reading it... good poetry will do that to you. I liked the style a lot, and the rhyme scheme was overall pretty good. I'm sorry that you had to go through this. No one deserves that. Thank you for sharing this emotional poem. --Marie "Hope is a thing with feathers that perches in the soul." --Emily Dickinson |
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Child of the Stars
since 2000-09-07
Posts 1658Ann Arbor, MI |
GOooOOoooOod morning! Is this the one in English class? Methinks so...Very good, dude...horrible stuff you had to deal with, but you really put it into words superbly...Well see you and that poem tomorro! ~Carly NOTE TO SELF: Live to love and love to live. |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
Very sad poem. I hope things get better for you. Took courage for you to share. I liked this a lot. I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. |
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banburycross Senior Member
since 2001-03-27
Posts 946viginia |
The emotion and power in this poem are truly beautiful. This is very well written, thank you so much for sharing it. Sometimes, the things that go unsaid are the only things worth hearing. |
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orange()alligator Junior Member
since 2001-02-06
Posts 21 |
hey, while reading your poem it made me shiver. i've sorta had the same expeirence, but never been able to put them into words as well as you have. i loved the poem! -bergundy- |
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anonymous albert ?
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979 |
i went thru similar maybe exact things as not a father and daughter but son and father which hurts more....i liked how you wrote it great job. |
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