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Crystal Catacombs - Despair (entry 9)
| Teen Poetry #4 |
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Crystal Catacombs - Despair (entry 9) |
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Allan Riverwood
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502Winnipeg 
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(Javier wanted an explanation of how my series works together... it's not necessarily one theme as it is one character. All of the events surround one character who has no definite name, but is the main character in each poem. Each song is the process of him moving from location to location, and each poem is the location he arrives at. Does that make any sense? Well also bear in mind that there is a lot of symbolism in this series. The name of the series itself is not even literal in the least. Well here's the ninth entry... a revisiting of the format used in the very first of the series. I'm going to proceed a bit further in the series and then it ends... so here's the "Despair" in the meantime.  )"Crystal Catacombs - Despair" In castles, dream of memories of days when I was born I'm not the king you wanted here I'm dying fast, I'm worn... Mother from my day of birth held me until death My tower climbs, so far beneath the ever dying soil I cry as I remember you my heart begins to spoil Mother from my day of death nursing my cold lips The claws upon my fetal hands have always been my foe I'll bite my nails for all my time However fast they grow Thank you for protecting me Now, you meet your end From all the things you offered me to all the things I've gained You've cut too many innocents, and still, no scars remained What more could I ask for now? Is this not my goal? Goodbye mothers, goodbye claws Goodbye politics and laws Goodbye kingdom, goodbye home Goodbye, loyal catacomb [This message has been edited by Allan Riverwood (edited 04-10-2001).] |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
NIcely done allan! I especially thought the ending was great. Very well done. Oh and Allan, thanks for the explanation!  I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. I'm in love with my shadow I admire it daily [This message has been edited by Dopey_Dope (edited 04-10-2001).] |
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anonymous albert ?
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979 |
nicely written allan! i liked the format the meaning in the poem everything the series is turning out great so until next time. keep writing ohh yea how you be doing all them different faces...????? [This message has been edited by anonymous albert ? (edited 04-10-2001).] |
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fractal007 Senior Member
since 2000-06-01
Posts 1958 |
I must say, this was a definite first in the quality of your pieces. The rhythm you used, combined with the rhyme of the left hand stanzas was fantastic. The accompanying senryu was also very good. This is definitely going to the library! "If history is to change, let it change. If the world is to be destroyed, so be it. If my fate is to die, I must simply laugh" |
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banburycross Senior Member
since 2001-03-27
Posts 946viginia |
The more i read of the series, the more impressed i am with your poetic ability in any format or style. to pick a single poem out of this series and call it the best would be next to impossible so i will simply say that the series as a whole is magnificent. i always love your work, keep writing beautiful poetry. Sometimes, the things that go unsaid are the only things worth hearing. |
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Fading Away
since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131Lynchburg, Virginia |
*Applauds* Wow, Allan... This is amazing!  I would say that this is one of the best in the series! This is another one of your poems that's going straight into my library.Thanks for the explination too, that cleared a little bit up for me... Excellent job!! I can't wait to read the next in the series.  --Marie "Hope is a thing with feathers that perches in the soul." --Emily Dickinson [This message has been edited by Fading Away (edited 04-10-2001).] |
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Fading Away
since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131Lynchburg, Virginia |
Calm down, Marie.. and don't forget to click the button!  |
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LoveBug
Moderator
Member Elite
since 2000-01-08
Posts 4697 |
Such a wonderful piece. The format is impressive, but your symbolism and the emotions that I got from it are even more impressive. I really enjoyed this piece, as well as the rest of the series. Thanks for sharing! (the explaination really helped, too!)  "Men judge generally more by the eye than by the hand, for everyone can see and few can feel."-Machiavelli |
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Child of the Stars
since 2000-09-07
Posts 1658Ann Arbor, MI |
 I'm so jealous it itn't even CLOSE to being funny!!! Nah, not really, but I DO envy your talent....HEYY!! I JUST SNAPPED MY FINGERS!!!! WOW!!!! Hehe, sorry, had to tell someone! Keep it up, babe. ~Carly NOTE TO SELF: Live to love and love to live. |
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