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Teen Poetry #4
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As I look into your eyes, Part 2 (Countdown to 3000)
| Teen Poetry #4 |
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As I look into your eyes, Part 2 (Countdown to 3000) |
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LoveBug
Moderator
Member Elite
since 2000-01-08
Posts 4697
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Hey guys! This is the second part of a 3 part series I wrote leading up to my 3000th post. You can't really understand this poem unless you read the first one. Here's the url, I had it transferred here from the sanctuary so all of you would be able to understand this one /pip/Forum55/HTML/000052.html Thanks for reading, and don't be too harsh! This is my least favorite of the series.  The sky is blue, the sun shines bright But something is missing for me But now, oh look! I see the thing I have always been waiting to see You just walk by and casually You grab me with your eyes And I fall in love with a stranger As I stand there, so surprised Although I’ve never seen you Once in my 16 years It is as if I know your soul It is like you have dried my tears It is like I know your heart and soul It is like I know your strife It is like we have always been together Like we have loved in another life! Such beauty I see in those blue eyes And it’s like I have seen them before Such comfort, like from a lover’s arms Envelops me once more I try like crazy to have your eyes Return my loving glance But my heart falls as I see a girl With whom you share romance Oh how can such a powerful love Only meet such rejection? How can things work out this way When love should be perfection? Oh God, It seems so obvious He should be able to see All these things we seem to share Its so obvious to me! My tears begin to overflow As I look up at the sky The world was perfect for awhile… Until you averted your eyes "Men judge generally more by the eye than by the hand, for everyone can see and few can feel."-Machiavelli [This message has been edited by LoveBug (edited 03-30-2001).] |
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| © Copyright 2001 Erica N. - All Rights Reserved | |||
Allan Riverwood
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502Winnipeg |
Hmm? You say you didn't like this one? Well I've only seen this and the other, and the other one is better, but this one was also quite good. I would't be so hard on myself if I were you. I think the last stanza was simply magnificent. This series really is keeping me waiting for the last entry... get moving with those replies!  ~Allan Its rather handy being at the top of the food chain...you can sort things out and not get the blame for it. ~~Elizabeth Johnson (anonymousfemale) |
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Ina Senior Member
since 2000-10-09
Posts 1236Quebec, Canada |
this is very good. they are both great work. im waiting for the last one. regina a small cut is only the beggining of a life in pain |
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Fading Away
since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131Lynchburg, Virginia |
Another great job. I thought this one was just as good as the first. I can't wait to read the third one. --Marie It's true that we don't know what we've got until we lose it, but it's also true that we don't know what we've been missing until it arrives. |
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Child of the Stars
since 2000-09-07
Posts 1658Ann Arbor, MI |
You rock. Nuff said. ~Carly Many miles behind my eyelashes, there always seems to be |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
I'll beat Carly on this one.... You rock a LOT, nuff said!  I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. |
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banburycross Senior Member
since 2001-03-27
Posts 946viginia |
I don't know why you didn't like this one, i thought it was beautiful! i'm very much looking forward to reading the rest of this series. Sometimes, the things that go unsaid are the only things worth hearing. |
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Acies
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665Twilight Zone |
Oh, that was totally beautiful Erica Now, I can go see the continuation On my way "So long as men can breathe or eyes can see, |
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