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Empty tears
Member

since 2001-03-12

Posts 64

0 posted 2001-04-09 08:08 PM

I wouldve been a daddys Girl
Would have loved him so
But ive lost my dad
not to death:to drugs,War and hate
Now ill never be a daddys girl
For i can love him no more
Ive lost love for him
Through rejection,cruelty and lack of caring
He doesnt know i couldve been a daddys girl
He doesnt know me at all
he doesnt deserve to
I shouldve been a daddys girl
But i didnt have a daddy

Death is but an escape from loneliness

banburycross
Senior Member

since 2001-03-27

Posts 946
viginia

1 posted 2001-04-09 08:13 PM

wow. very powerful writing. the ending was great and the emotion is beautiful. keep posting.

Sometimes, the things that go unsaid are the only things worth hearing.

Fading Away

Member Elite

since 2001-03-14

Posts 3131
Lynchburg, Virginia

2 posted 2001-04-09 08:49 PM

I love the ending to this poem. It's very emotional..
Thank you for sharing another nicely written poem.

--Marie

"Hope is a thing with feathers that perches in the soul." --Emily Dickinson

Allan Riverwood

Member Elite

since 2001-01-04

Posts 3502
Winnipeg

3 posted 2001-04-09 09:08 PM

I'll echo the gang in that the ending was awesome. Best of luck with the situation...
~Allan

The sun was born, so it shall die. ~VNV Nation, "Further"

Dopey Dope

Moderator

Member Patricius

since 2000-08-30

Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico

4 posted 2001-04-09 10:05 PM

Well done here! This was so utterly sad. Man.....it's so sad.
I liked it though...
:smoki:

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

Attack Ferrit
Junior Member

since 2001-04-09

Posts 41
texas

5 posted 2001-04-09 10:14 PM

really loved it. very emotional. great ending. i thought that the lines
"But ive lost my dad
not to death:to drugs,War and hate
Now ill never be a daddys girl
For i can love him no more
Ive lost love for him"
were a little hard to read becuse i thought they didnt really flow together but besides that little thing i loved it. look forward to reading more.

Heavens Tears

Senior Member

since 2001-03-15

Posts 677

6 posted 2001-04-10 09:32 AM

Very good, but just remember, its not what you lost, its what he lost.

*If the only place I can live my dreams is in my sleep, then I'll sleep forever!*

Marshalzu

Member Elite

since 2001-02-15

Posts 2681
Lurking

7 posted 2001-04-10 09:41 AM

Wow I thought this was really powerful... very emotional and I could really empathise. Great Job.
Andrew.

" No Army can conquer a galaxy, yet faith alone can overturn the universe."

Child of the Stars

Senior Member

since 2000-09-07

Posts 1658
Ann Arbor, MI

8 posted 2001-04-10 03:02 PM

This hit me hard. It made me realize what I've got, a really great dad, and lots of times I completely take his love for granted..Thank you for opening my eyes. This is going in my library...
~Carly

NOTE TO SELF: Live to love and love to live.

Acies

Moderator

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-06-07

Posts 7665
Twilight Zone

9 posted 2001-04-20 11:34 AM

That was very emotional. I'm sorry to hear this and I do hope that things are getting better for you now. Keep writing cause it does help

"So long as men can breathe or eyes can see,
So long lives this, and this give life to thee." W.S.

Silver Butterfly
Junior Member

since 2001-03-13

Posts 42
Between here and the end

10 posted 2001-04-20 09:56 PM

Okay, the poem had a wonderful thought behind it (powerful being a better world for it), though I found everything between the first two and last two lines to be choppy, with some revision they have major potential. The ending though brought everything together and was one of your best endings yet! So yay, maybe one of my poems will get an ending like that someday. Ciao!

cherish
Senior Member

since 2001-03-25

Posts 1639
swimming in fairy floss...........

11 posted 2001-04-21 01:44 AM

wow...i know EXACTLY how you feel...call me spoilt..call me whatever you want but i wish to death that i was daddys little girl. i still have a father but not in the sense that i take him to be my father.
i have to agree with everyone here it was a great poem and i loved the ending as much as everyone else did.
i hope the damage can be repaired.

"Life is not long and boring,
it's short and compelling." -Javier Agosto-

Angel Bee
Member

since 2001-01-30

Posts 176
Virginia

12 posted 2001-04-21 04:27 PM

sorry about your dad keep writing
ab

*~Sometimes just holding hands is holding on to everything.~*

Linc

Senior Member

since 2001-03-07

Posts 552
The Backstreet Boy

13 posted 2001-04-21 05:47 PM

Hey,

This makes me appreciate my parents more even if I hate my "Father" until your next poem

-- Linc

"Once you reach your original goal it seems that the journey was your real accomplishment."

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