Teen Poetry #4 |
Black and Blue |
princess^sarah Member
since 2001-01-12
Posts 131melbourne |
My finger swirls around the royal blues the midnight blacks the brilliant violets that tattoo my flesh flashing inside my mind I recall all the times that I screamed that I begged and you just laughed the sensation of pain when I press push on the bruise push on the floor look at the door remember splashing in the spring puddles smiling at you smiling at life hoping it will last but my aches are more internal bleeding outside bleeding inside love that kills |
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© Copyright 2001 sarah alford - All Rights Reserved | |||
chas Member
since 2001-04-08
Posts 101Lynn, ma |
nice poem, i can almost sence all your pain, but i'm confuse with who your talking to? maybe i don't need to know. |
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anonymous albert ?
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979 |
great job sarah that poem gave me ur pain 2 bear. i liked it. another well done hehe i really liked it... don't believe me? trust me i liked it . yea it was good nooo it was GREAT! |
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Allan Riverwood
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502Winnipeg |
This is really good. I especially liked this part- "the sensation of pain when I press push on the bruise push on the floor look at the door" Your style is developing so well! I really like the original formats you have been using lately, it's very creative. I am completely impressed with you, Sarah! ~Allan The sun was born, so it shall die. ~VNV Nation, "Further" |
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Heavens Tears
since 2001-03-15
Posts 677 |
I really liked your poem, but it has me worried. I know this forum has almost been like a self help group for me, and if you need someone to talk to, email me! *~*Me*~* |
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Fading Away
since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131Lynchburg, Virginia |
Beautiful imagery, Sarah. You did a great job of expressing yourself. Nice job! --Marie "Hope is a thing with feathers that perches in the soul." --Emily Dickinson |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
Lemme start off by saying that when you first came into Passions you were ok.....your writing skills were in need of improvement, as everybody's is.....but lemme say that you have gone so far, from what I've seen, in writing poems. I enjoy reading you much more as every poem of yours is posted. Nicely done. I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. |
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Marshalzu
since 2001-02-15
Posts 2681Lurking |
This was excellent, I really felt that I could feel your pain, it is a truly marvelous piece most definitely one of my favourites. Andrew " No Army can conquer a galaxy, yet faith alone can overturn the universe." |
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Heavens Tears
since 2001-03-15
Posts 677 |
Great job! Are you being abused? If you need someone to talk to, I am here, and you can email me to talk. *If the only place I can live my dreams is in my sleep, then I'll sleep forever!* |
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Acies
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665Twilight Zone |
That was an excellent read I've always enjoyed your poems Your style is different from the rest thus giving your poem it's own personality thanks for the wonderful read keep sharing "So long as men can breathe or eyes can see, |
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Attack Ferrit Junior Member
since 2001-04-09
Posts 41texas |
great post. the discription was great as was the format. really great. everything is skin deep |
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princess^sarah Member
since 2001-01-12
Posts 131melbourne |
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