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Dana Samples
Member

since 2001-04-07

Posts 68

0 posted 2001-04-13 04:22 PM

Innocence?"

They say from the time you are born until you
learn right from wrong you are innocent,
That is partly true in away
but not to the full extant.

You always carry some part of innocence with
you through your existence of life,
but if it is used the wrong way it can
stab you in the back like a jagged knife.

We are all innocent to life for we do not know
all of the obstacles to come our way,
But sometimes we are to quick to blame
and it comes back to haunt you on a later day.

So the question still stands
if we are still innocent or not,
But hopefully now you will learn from your mistakes
and try to see what you sought.

By: Dana Samples
12-20-00

Allan Riverwood

Member Elite

since 2001-01-04

Posts 3502
Winnipeg

1 posted 2001-04-13 04:25 PM

Hmm... I'll be honest and admit that I didn't like this one. It seemed a bit laboured. Although it did have good format, despite this it neglected to really have an impact on me. I think it might have something to do with the fact that each line sort of continued onto the next, instead of each line completing a thought.
Hope to see more of your work, Ms Samples.

~Allan

Build a man a fire, and he's warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.
~Unknown

Child of the Stars

Senior Member

since 2000-09-07

Posts 1658
Ann Arbor, MI

2 posted 2001-04-13 04:27 PM

Listen to hims, he knows the dillio! Good thoughts, but I don't think it showed the creative Dana we all know and love. Well I'll see ya Monday!
~Carly

There are pleasures in poetic pains that only poets know......~Unknown

LoveBug

Moderator

Member Elite

since 2000-01-08

Posts 4697

3 posted 2001-04-13 05:20 PM

The ideas you outline in this piece are very thought-provoking. Although I don't believe this is one of your best, the thoughts are very powerful. Thanks for sharing.

"Men judge generally more by the eye than by the hand, for everyone can see and few can feel."-Machiavelli

Acies

Moderator

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-06-07

Posts 7665
Twilight Zone

4 posted 2001-04-13 06:13 PM

I believe this to be a good post. yes, something is lacking, but I think one additional stanza will solve that. One explaining more about Innocence.
Thanks for sharing

"So long as men can breathe or eyes can see,
So long lives this, and this give life to thee." W.S.

Dopey Dope

Moderator

Member Patricius

since 2000-08-30

Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico

5 posted 2001-04-14 02:27 AM

I thought it was ok. Not your best....
You said some true thoughts in here though.

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

Fading Away

Member Elite

since 2001-03-14

Posts 3131
Lynchburg, Virginia

6 posted 2001-04-14 10:56 AM

I'll agree with everyone else and say that this one really isn't the best I've seen from you. Your thoughts seem incomplete.
Thanks for sharing though, and keep posting.

--Marie

subconsciously, i think i can eat so much to make my stomach hurt, instead of my heart.

Ina
Senior Member

since 2000-10-09

Posts 1236
Quebec, Canada

7 posted 2001-04-14 11:10 AM

it was good

regina

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