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Teen Poetry #4
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Fading Away
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Lynchburg, Virginia

0 posted 2001-04-08 01:32 PM


Hate is an empty being.
Hate smells like stagnant water in a dirty pond.
Hate looks nondescript,
but leaves you with a lingering sense
that you have attended a funeral,
and that you are the only one there
to leave flowers and sign the dove-white coffin.

Merely brushing against Hate
leaves a gritty taste in your mouth
like sand between your teeth
after being pushed down on the playground.
You know you have encountered Hate,
not just Dislike or Indifference,
when you hear the silence.
It is the tense non-sound
like the sound lurking in the barrel of a cocked gun.
That is when Hate has entered your life.

One day, you come upon Hate,
broken and battered in an alley.
You know that to heal Hate, you need many things:
a helping hand,
to sit him up and brush the bully's dirt off his jacket;
a kind word,
to add signatures to the bare casket of his heart;
a gentle smile,
to wash away the built-up scum and angry thoughts.
But most of all, you need courage.
The courage to place your hand over the mouth of the gun,
to push it down, and make it drop to the earth;
To shatter the silence - not with screaming bullets,
but with the surrender that makes Hate what he is.

When you help Hate to his feet,
he looks different from the Hate you encountered before.
You suddenly recognize him and are filled with warmth,
Because,
while Hate takes on many forms,
Love is always the same.

--Marie

"Hope is a thing with feathers that perches in the soul."  --Emily Dickinson

[This message has been edited by Fading Away (edited 04-08-2001).]

© Copyright 2001 Jennifer Floyd - All Rights Reserved
Allan Riverwood
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1 posted 2001-04-08 01:39 PM


Marie... let me take a minute to regain myself...
I do believe this is the best poem you have ever written...
It made me sit back and shiver... I can't exactly give you an excellent reply right now, or anything completely analytical.  
Ok... breathe Allan... breathe boy...
You described the emotion fantastically... everything about this poem is absolutely perfect.  Your best, perhaps the best...
I am adding it to my library, of course... but it really deserves a library of its own.  
Excellent job.  Truly excellent.  I can't say much more than that...
~Allan

The sun was born, so it shall die. ~VNV Nation, "Further"

Allan Riverwood
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2 posted 2001-04-08 01:40 PM


Breathe Allan... and hit the button...  
Dopey Dope
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San Juan, Puerto Rico
3 posted 2001-04-08 03:29 PM


OMG.....this was simply amazing. One of the best poems I have read here. VERY VERY well done Marie. I am amazed.

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

Linc
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The Backstreet Boy
4 posted 2001-04-08 04:20 PM


Hey,

                   I am speechless so I will touch up and old replie to fit this poem.Yet another superb poem. It will no doubt grace a top spot in my library. Your poetry is extremely good. You' re extremely good. I hope continue to grace passions's forms with your excellent work. It brightens my day to see such superb work by a talented young mind.Until your next masterpiece

                   -- Linc

"Once you reach your original goal it seems that the journey was your real accomplishment."

Child of the Stars
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Ann Arbor, MI
5 posted 2001-04-08 04:52 PM


  dot dot dot . . . *coughs*
dot...dot dot...........

  ~ One speechless little girl

NOTE TO SELF: Live to love and love to live.

I only submit songs
Junior Member
since 2001-04-08
Posts 16
NY,NY
6 posted 2001-04-08 05:05 PM


speechless
anonymous albert ?
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7 posted 2001-04-09 05:39 AM


yup still speechless  
anonymousfemale
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since 2000-02-02
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Limbo
8 posted 2001-04-09 06:13 AM


Carly, I only submit songs and anonymous, you're all sheep.  

Marie, you never cease to amaze me. This description of hate made me sit here in total silence for a few minutes and take note of what you really were saying. Hate isn't all bad though. It does help you to figure things out. Love, by the way, does take many forms but this isn't the place to go into that.

I was extremely impressed with these lines:
"To shatter the silence - not with screaming bullets,
but with the surrender that makes Hate what he is."

You're a brilliant writer and you should be quite proud of what you have just written.

Keep 'em coming, Marie.

~AF~

Death is delightful. Death is dawn, the waking from a weary night of fevers unto truth and light.
~ Joaquin Miller ~

Heavens Tears
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9 posted 2001-04-09 10:13 AM


Excellent poem!!  I must agree w/ Allan, this is your best.  Keep writing.  

*~*Me*~*

banburycross
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since 2001-03-27
Posts 946
viginia
10 posted 2001-04-09 02:31 PM


I don't have the words to justify how beautiful this poem is.  your writng always amazes me and leaves me in awe of your talent.  Don't ever stop sharing the wonderful gift you have in your writing.

Sometimes, the things that go unsaid are the only things worth hearing.

Allan Riverwood
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11 posted 2001-04-18 08:59 PM


This poem rules... let's all get a chance to see it.  
fozzyozzy
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since 2001-03-15
Posts 336
Lessburg Virginia
12 posted 2001-04-18 09:58 PM


Wow.  Just wow.  I'm really curious of what your inspiration for this poem was.  I always wonder what poets are doing before they write their famous pieces.  I've seen your works before, but this one just blows me away with the powerful personification. I'm trailing off here.  Good(no excellent)job

"The heart can think of no devotion
Greater than being shore to ocean
Holding the curve of one position
Counting an endless repetition"
-

LoneWolf
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since 2001-03-10
Posts 384
IL
13 posted 2001-04-18 10:02 PM


WOW. i really, really, really, really, really liked this one alot. i don't know what else to say that hasn't already been said. WOW again. this is definatly going in my library. this is just WOW.

It's too bad I'm not as wonderful a person as people say I am, because the world could use a few people like that.

I've learned that even when you

Acies
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Twilight Zone
14 posted 2001-04-18 10:18 PM


A good definition of "passions in poetry"
amazing
~*applauds*~

"So long as men can breathe or eyes can see,
So long lives this, and this give life to thee."  W.S.

Heavens Tears
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15 posted 2001-04-19 08:56 AM


This poem is just beautiful.  I have to say it is your best.  Wonderful job.  Keep it up.

*If the only place I can live my dreams is in my sleep, then I'll sleep forever!*

anonymous albert ?
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16 posted 2001-04-27 03:47 PM


this deserves 2 be on page one..

as i'm stillspeechless..hehe

...?

death is not the greatest loss in life. the greatest loss is what dies inside us while we live. -norman cousins

Heavens Tears
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17 posted 2001-04-28 01:07 PM


I just feel like knocking this one back up to page one.  And rereading it.  Again.  This one deserves it!

*~*Amanda*~*

My tears roll right down my cheeks, but they all soak into my pillow.  I feel kinda sorry for it...

knightlyshadows
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since 2001-04-14
Posts 791
obscured vision
18 posted 2001-04-28 01:19 PM


thanks for bumpin it guys
this was like WOW....never seen nething like it but im also pretty new with all this.
great job!!!!!!!
this is going to my library!
tiff

“A single choice can build destinies,or destroy them.”

"at the touch of love anyone becomes a poet"

knightlyshadows
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since 2001-04-14
Posts 791
obscured vision
19 posted 2001-04-28 01:20 PM


darn it allan ur rubbin off on me!  
forgot to hit the button grrrr@me
tiff

“A single choice can build destinies,or destroy them.”

"at the touch of love anyone becomes a poet"

Shygirl82
Member
since 2001-02-19
Posts 245
Ilinois
20 posted 2001-04-28 04:09 PM


Wow this is one of the best poems I have read.  It also made me take a moment and think.  Simply amazing.  I too wondered what your inspiration for this magnificent piece was.  
~Nikki~

Jenn Cirrincione
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Fl
21 posted 2001-05-06 08:27 PM


This really was well done. It was great...
Everyone said everything there is to say... I applaud you.

Jenn

"I've come too close to happiness, to have it swept away,don't think I can take the pain, never fall again..." Janet

lonely*soul
Member
since 2001-04-05
Posts 396
east haddam (moodus) ct :)
22 posted 2001-05-06 08:33 PM


all i have to say  is WOW   i really like this...awsome job!!!
        *KiM*

JBaker515
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Dartmouth College
23 posted 2001-05-06 08:43 PM


Marie..
this was amazing..
its the best poem i have ever read from you!!
i loved it!!!

$ Jeff $   :  )

"If I'm not back in 5 minutes......just wait longer!"

"You may take our lives, but you'll never take our FREEDOM!

Fading Away
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24 posted 2001-05-07 10:10 AM


Heh!  Wow.. Thanks everyone so much for the replies!  It means a lot to me  

--Marie

Don't ever be someone's slogan, because you are poetry.

Linc
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The Backstreet Boy
25 posted 2001-05-08 12:51 PM


Hey,

   I am going through all of your poems and picking my favorite you know why   and I noticed I have missed a few so expect them to pop up soon. Anyways this is a very powerful poem I truly enjoyed reading it. This is one of the ones I pick. Until your next masterpeice

      -- Linc

"Once you reach your original goal it seems that the journey was your real accomplishment."

Linc
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The Backstreet Boy
26 posted 2001-05-08 12:54 PM


OOPS   sorry

[This message has been edited by Linc (edited 05-08-2001).]

Hacas
Junior Member
since 2001-05-05
Posts 25

27 posted 2001-05-08 01:00 PM


GGGreat poem!...Me like!

Keep up the good work!

"Fight for what you believe in"
"Stay yourself no matter what people say"

vixengrl04
Member
since 2001-04-26
Posts 495
East Haddam, CT
28 posted 2001-05-08 05:08 PM


Well I definitely agree with all the other replies, this poem is simply AMAZING.  I pretty much LOVED it, and think it is one of the best poems I have ever read on here.  A true amazement, and a masterpiece for sure.  This is going in my library, and I will be be looking out for more of your work.  I'm so impressed.  

~*Nikki*~

~*Of all the millions of people in the world, I'm just me.*~

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