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| Teen Poetry #4 |
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Where I Belong |
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Child of the Stars
since 2000-09-07
Posts 1658Ann Arbor, MI 
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Seasons change again And now, I'm learning how to see The love behind my dog's brown eyes; (He'll never change) and the skies behind the trees Splinters from the picnic table stick into me, (I never noticed) As if Winter's cold turned summer's memory to a bitter lemonade Tearing and rusting the grass, (and the clouds) A puppy (once a puppy, always a puppy) Travels a trail worn deep from Hours and hours and minutes of being chained (the obstacle I must learn to face) Toward the fence, leave the house behind. An April chill visits, though in the month of May (rather peculiar, don't you think?) Perhaps I'm being given a second chance To be a good girl and put the garden hose where it belongs. Get off the table! You're wasting time (I am awakened, and thrusted into a life filled past its limits) with things and places and people I need to be. [This message has been edited by Child of the Stars (edited 05-04-2001).] |
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| © Copyright 2001 Carly Anne Van Dort - All Rights Reserved | |||
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lonely*soul Member
since 2001-04-05
Posts 396east haddam (moodus) ct :) |
hehe i kinda picture the stanzas in the parenthesis like a whisper..and the other words read asd a poem..but its just me..any ways good work~ *KiM* |
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anonymous albert ?
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979 |
i liked this it gave me a new sense of feelings..if you know what i mean..anyways tho i thought this was a very well written piece i liked it lots.. carly keep writing them wonderful poems..   ...?if i die before i wake , i pray the lord my soul will take-"when thugs cry" |
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katherine Member
since 2000-06-10
Posts 365Canberra Australia |
this is so cool. it flows really well. keep it up ~katie if you don't let them in they can't see the real you |
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xShUgArHiGhx
since 2000-09-26
Posts 3150tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs |
You described this to a fine art...i could picture everything as a read it...now that takes a lot of talent to do which you happen to aquire!! god girl i wish i was u lol  Amazing piece...you truely out did yourself this time! |
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cherish Senior Member
since 2001-03-25
Posts 1639swimming in fairy floss........... |
this was really well worth the wait to read ( my computer stuffed up on me while it was loading) i love the way you write.. this poem was great!! very goooood! "Life is not long and boring, |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
Carly well done on this. I especially liked the lines about the puppy always being a puppy. Wonderful poem!  I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. |
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Allan Riverwood
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502Winnipeg |
I personally didn't like this one too much at all, but hey... that's just crazy old me. So listen to the ones singing praise.  I'll just sit off on my own and go "la la la."~Allan Build a man a fire, and he's warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life. |
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Child of the Stars
since 2000-09-07
Posts 1658Ann Arbor, MI |
Bah humbug to you too!  Thanks for the replies people. Keep on truckin.~Carly "Your joy is your sorrow unmasked. And the self-same well from which your laughter rises was often-times filled with your tears." ~Kahil Gibran |
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Marshalzu
since 2001-02-15
Posts 2681Lurking |
I dunno how I missed this one... Sorry... anyway I thought that it was great although it was not one of your best. Mr Zu " The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots" -Thomas jefferson |
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Child of the Stars
since 2000-09-07
Posts 1658Ann Arbor, MI |
Agreed. Shanks Marsha. "Your joy is your sorrow unmasked. And the self-same well from which your laughter rises was often-times filled with your tears." ~Kahil Gibran |
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vixengrl04 Member
since 2001-04-26
Posts 495East Haddam, CT |
Allan, I think its particularly rude to reply to this poem saying that you did not like it....I enjoyed it alot, its got great imagery and I like how it was like scenes from your life, maybe things that you take for granted? It's really cute. ~*Nikki*~ ~*Of all the millions of people in the world, I'm just me.*~ |
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Child of the Stars
since 2000-09-07
Posts 1658Ann Arbor, MI |
Hehe......that boy's allowed. Thanks fer yer reply.~Carly "Your joy is your sorrow unmasked. And the self-same well from which your laughter rises was often-times filled with your tears." ~Kahil Gibran |
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Tangerines Junior Member
since 2001-05-07
Posts 22Richmond, Virginia |
I'm awed. This is very, very good. Because I'm a stickler for grammar, I'm going to point out that "thrusted" should be "thrust" - but other than that, impressive. "I don't judge people, I just watch them till it's time to look away. I wanna look away now." - Kristin Hersh |
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artemis_selene Junior Member
since 2001-05-07
Posts 14virginia |
this had a really nice flow to it; it was sort of like an inner monologue/stream of consciousness thing. i especially liked the line about "As if Winter's cold turned summer's memory to a bitter lemonade" |
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Acies
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665Twilight Zone |
For some reason I have the feeling that this poem is of GREATNESS. You are so awesome Carly. If I only had half your talent  Oh well ~*standing ovation*~ BRAVO!!! BRAVO!!! BRAVO!!! "So long as men can breathe or eyes can see, |
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