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Teen Poetry #4
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Child of the Stars
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Ann Arbor, MI

0 posted 2001-05-04 07:53 PM


Seasons change again
And now, I'm learning how to see
The love behind my dog's brown eyes;
(He'll never change)
and the skies behind the trees

Splinters from the picnic table stick into me,
(I never noticed)
As if Winter's cold turned summer's memory to
a bitter lemonade
Tearing and rusting the grass,
(and the clouds)

A puppy (once a puppy, always a puppy)
Travels a trail worn deep from
Hours and hours and minutes of being chained
(the obstacle I must learn to face)
Toward the fence, leave the house behind.

An April chill visits, though in the month
of May (rather peculiar, don't you think?)
Perhaps I'm being given a second chance
To be a good girl and put the garden hose
where it belongs.

Get off the table! You're wasting time
(I am awakened, and thrusted into a life
filled past its limits)
with things and places and people
I need to be.



[This message has been edited by Child of the Stars (edited 05-04-2001).]

© Copyright 2001 Carly Anne Van Dort - All Rights Reserved
lonely*soul
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since 2001-04-05
Posts 396
east haddam (moodus) ct :)
1 posted 2001-05-04 07:59 PM


hehe i kinda picture the stanzas in the parenthesis like a whisper..and the other words read asd a poem..but its just me..any ways
        good work~
              *KiM*

anonymous albert ?
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2 posted 2001-05-04 08:07 PM


i liked this it gave me a new sense of feelings..if you know what i mean..anyways tho i thought this was a very well written piece i liked it lots.. carly
keep writing them wonderful poems..

...?

if i die before i wake , i pray the lord my soul will take-"when thugs cry"

katherine
Member
since 2000-06-10
Posts 365
Canberra Australia
3 posted 2001-05-04 08:20 PM


this is so cool. it flows really well.
keep it up
~katie

if you don't let them in they can't see the real you

xShUgArHiGhx
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tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs
4 posted 2001-05-04 11:09 PM


You described this to a fine art...i could picture everything as a read it...now that takes a lot of talent to do which you happen to aquire!! god girl i wish i was u lol   Amazing piece...you truely out did yourself this time!
cherish
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since 2001-03-25
Posts 1639
swimming in fairy floss...........
5 posted 2001-05-04 11:38 PM


this was really well worth the wait to read ( my computer stuffed up on me while it was loading)
i love the way you write..
this poem was great!!
very goooood!

"Life is not long and boring,
it's short and compelling." -Javier Agosto-

Dopey Dope
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San Juan, Puerto Rico
6 posted 2001-05-05 02:16 AM


Carly well done on this. I especially liked the lines about the puppy always being a puppy. Wonderful poem!

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

Allan Riverwood
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Winnipeg
7 posted 2001-05-05 03:18 AM


I personally didn't like this one too much at all, but hey... that's just crazy old me.
So listen to the ones singing praise.     I'll just sit off on my own and go "la la la."
~Allan

Build a man a fire, and he's warm for a day.  Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.  
~Unknown

Child of the Stars
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8 posted 2001-05-05 08:25 PM


Bah humbug to you too!   Thanks for the replies people. Keep on truckin.
  ~Carly

"Your joy is your sorrow unmasked.  And the self-same well from which your laughter rises was often-times filled with your tears."   ~Kahil Gibran

Marshalzu
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Lurking
9 posted 2001-05-08 02:09 PM


I dunno how I missed this one... Sorry... anyway I thought that it was great although it was not one of your best.
Mr Zu

" The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots" -Thomas jefferson

E-mail/Msn: Targetmrzu@hotmail.com

Child of the Stars
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Ann Arbor, MI
10 posted 2001-05-08 03:49 PM


Agreed. Shanks Marsha.  

"Your joy is your sorrow unmasked.  And the self-same well from which your laughter rises was often-times filled with your tears."   ~Kahil Gibran

vixengrl04
Member
since 2001-04-26
Posts 495
East Haddam, CT
11 posted 2001-05-08 04:57 PM


Allan, I think its particularly rude to reply to this poem saying that you did not like it....I enjoyed it alot, its got great imagery and I like how it was like scenes from your life, maybe things that you take for granted?  It's really cute.  

~*Nikki*~

~*Of all the millions of people in the world, I'm just me.*~

Child of the Stars
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Ann Arbor, MI
12 posted 2001-05-08 05:16 PM


Hehe......that boy's allowed.   Thanks fer yer reply.
  ~Carly

"Your joy is your sorrow unmasked.  And the self-same well from which your laughter rises was often-times filled with your tears."   ~Kahil Gibran

Tangerines
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since 2001-05-07
Posts 22
Richmond, Virginia
13 posted 2001-05-08 05:19 PM


I'm awed. This is very, very good. Because I'm a stickler for grammar, I'm going to point out that "thrusted" should be "thrust" - but other than that, impressive.

"I don't judge people, I just watch them till it's time to look away. I wanna look away now." - Kristin Hersh

artemis_selene
Junior Member
since 2001-05-07
Posts 14
virginia
14 posted 2001-05-08 05:27 PM


this had a really nice flow to it; it was sort of like an inner monologue/stream of consciousness thing. i especially liked the line about "As if Winter's cold turned summer's memory to a bitter lemonade"





Acies
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Posts 7665
Twilight Zone
15 posted 2001-05-08 06:18 PM


For some reason I have the feeling that this poem is of GREATNESS.  
You are so awesome Carly.  
If I only had half your talent  
Oh well  
~*standing ovation*~
BRAVO!!!
BRAVO!!!
BRAVO!!!

"So long as men can breathe or eyes can see,
So long lives this, and this give life to thee."  W.S.

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