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Teen Poetry #4
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Fiancé ( 2 )
| Teen Poetry #4 |
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Fiancé ( 2 ) |
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Linc
since 2001-03-07
Posts 552The Backstreet Boy 
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My world spinning You and me A new beginning My life now all about you I think I love you, that's true Here, there, everywhere You're on mind, in my heart I think of you night and day When we are apart It tears at my heart. -- Linc This is the the second fiancé I like this one better  its for a special friend of mine she knows who she is and to her I love you."Once you reach your original goal it seems that the journey was your real accomplishment." [This message has been edited by Linc (edited 04-07-2001).] |
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| © Copyright 2001 Jermaine Clayborne - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
Linc, beautiful poem. I enjoyed this and found it to be quite sweet. I think you messed up on the second verse of the second stanza though. Shouldn't it be "on my mind"? anyhow, nice poem!  I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. |
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Ina Senior Member
since 2000-10-09
Posts 1236Quebec, Canada |
This was great Linc. I didnt read your first one, this was really intersting. Regina a small cut is only the beggining of a life in pain |
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anonymous albert ?
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979 |
short but nice.good job linc |
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Linc
since 2001-03-07
Posts 552The Backstreet Boy |
Hey Guys, Thanks for the tip Dopey_dope I didn't even notice that I fixed it though. Thanks to Ina and anonymous albert for the replies they are so nice. Until your or mine (but since I have not been writing much and not writing my best it will prolly be yours first) -- Linc "Once you reach your original goal it seems that the journey was your real accomplishment." |
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Fading Away
since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131Lynchburg, Virginia |
This is a very sweet poem, Linc. It's beautiful in its simplicity. Nice job, and keep posting, I would love to read more. --Marie It's true that we don't know what we've got until we lose it, but it's also true that we don't know what we've been missing until it arrives. |
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Empty tears Member
since 2001-03-12
Posts 64 |
I really like this, very sweet. Great job! ~Brittany~ |
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AngelShell Member
since 2000-03-01
Posts 446not heaven nor hell so... |
he he he, this is much better than dopey's "entertainment" and I do use the word very lightly. I'm sure your girl knows how you feel, she should any way. Any one would be touched by this. Well done. |
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Allan Riverwood
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502Winnipeg |
I thought Dopey's entertainment was okay..... we should get some more of it going on.  Great poem, Linc. ~Allan The sun was born, so it shall die. ~VNV Nation, "Further" |
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Low Man's Lyric Member
since 2001-04-03
Posts 236In a dream |
That is a short and sweet poem. I LOVE IT! "It is better to have loved and lost then to have never loved at all" ~Unknown |
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Linc
since 2001-03-07
Posts 552The Backstreet Boy |
Hey, To Fading Away congrats on making 500 post oh and I loved your "What is a dream?" poem it was great. To Empty tears, AngelShell, Allan Riverwood, and Low Man's Lyric thanks for the great comments. Until your or my next poem -- Linc [This message has been edited by Linc (edited 04-08-2001).] |
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Child of the Stars
since 2000-09-07
Posts 1658Ann Arbor, MI |
Hey LOVE the critique message!  This was such an oh-so-sweeet poem, I'm glad you posted it. 473827427432 times better than Dopey's little...uh..deal. ~Carly NOTE TO SELF: Live to love and love to live. |
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banburycross Senior Member
since 2001-03-27
Posts 946viginia |
ahhhh, that's more like it. this is a great poem, i was glad to get a chance to read something from you, you are a very talented writer. i hope i get to read lots more in the future. Sometimes, the things that go unsaid are the only things worth hearing. |
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Jenn Cirrincione
since 2000-07-02
Posts 2107Fl |
This was really sweet. Simple, but very good. She's very lucky. Jenn "I'm a big, big, girl, in a big, big world, it's not a big, big thing if you leave me, but I do feel, that I will miss you much..." Emilia |
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Linc
since 2001-03-07
Posts 552The Backstreet Boy |
Hey, To Child of the Stars and Jenn Cirrincione thanks for the nice comment and to Banburycross its nice to see a new face replie to so many poems. Thanks for the reply and hope to see more of your poetry the last 3 I read were great keep it up. Until next time -- Linc "Once you reach your original goal it seems that the journey was your real accomplishment." |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
I try to entertain and it's all in vain...Linc....do you hate me too?  |
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Linc
since 2001-03-07
Posts 552The Backstreet Boy |
Hey, Awww no Dopey_dope I don't hate you and anyone who does is a Jerk hehe oh an *gives dopey_dope a pair of tap shoes* -- Linc [This message has been edited by Linc (edited 04-10-2001).] |
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