Teen Poetry #4 |
![]() ![]() |
In Distress |
![]() ![]() ![]() |
fozzyozzy Member
since 2001-03-15
Posts 336Lessburg Virginia ![]() |
In Distress I don't believe you're an enemy or a friend You are as absolute as the end A collection of greed and my worst qualities I'll love you and do as you please I have no mirror, will you be my guide? Feel free to come along for the ride I've always needed someone like you A woman so horrible and true To wound a lesser being With your mind appearing If possession is the only matter Take our love and let it shatter Why should I care now when you cry Would you be phased if I were to die? An air of satisfaction in the air To see you in pain that I also bear But my conscience calls To bring myself again into your walls We've both taken a love-lorn dive Twas my turn to ensure you survive? Where is my reward? Stabbed again by your venomous sword Deriving its power from my soul To leave in it a bitter hole. -------------------------------- I wanted to ask you people something. I've attempted a few styles in the past, and I was curious which one you folks thought was the best. |
||
© Copyright 2001 Sean Michael DeFlora - All Rights Reserved | |||
banburycross Senior Member
since 2001-03-27
Posts 946viginia |
well, i've read all the poems that you've posted recently and i have to say that this is one of the best. powerful poem, i really enjoyed it. keep posting and replying Sometimes, the things that go unsaid are the only things worth hearing. |
||
Dopey Dope![]()
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
Having a bit of trouble within the relationship? Anyhow I'm not sure which style I like best. I can't really pick one. I liked this poem though. ![]() I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. |
||
Fading Away![]() ![]() ![]()
since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131Lynchburg, Virginia |
"I have no mirror, will you be my guide?" This style is great! I like this one. The poem is excellent. I enjoyed the read. --Marie It's true that we don't know what we've got until we lose it, but it's also true that we don't know what we've been missing until it arrives. |
||
Child of the Stars![]() ![]() ![]()
since 2000-09-07
Posts 1658Ann Arbor, MI |
The same line that caught Fading's eye caught mine too...very good work here...probably one of your best, though I haven't read all of them...be sure to keep posting. ![]() ~Carly NOTE TO SELF: Live to love and love to live. |
||
anonymous albert ?![]()
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979 |
niceee great job on this keep writin ![]() |
||
Allan Riverwood![]() ![]()
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502Winnipeg |
This was quite good! I really like the last line. As for your best... my vote goes to "For the One She Misses." That poem just blew me away. Format-wise, I'd also bring attention to "Nine Inch Foil." That was such an original format, it really did impress me a lot. I hope to see more of your work. ![]() ~Allan The sun was born, so it shall die. ~VNV Nation, "Further" |
||
![]() ![]() |
⇧ top of page ⇧ |
![]() ![]() ![]() |
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. |