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Fading Away

Member Elite

since 2001-03-14

Posts 3131
Lynchburg, Virginia

0 posted 2001-03-28 05:14 PM

**Removed by Administrator**

Child of the Stars

Senior Member

since 2000-09-07

Posts 1658
Ann Arbor, MI

1 posted 2001-03-28 05:48 PM

OOOOOH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! this was very good. VERy good. Hellooo libary!!!!!
~A Stoned-from-cough-syrup Carly

Many miles behind my eyelashes, there always seems to be
the strangest things, the slightly sane, that only I can see...

Allan Riverwood

Member Elite

since 2001-01-04

Posts 3502
Winnipeg

2 posted 2001-03-28 11:34 PM

This was good! An extension on the normal Acrostic form... beginning each stanza rather than each line or word with the first in the word of subject.
My only critique is to italicize "me" instead of bold it. The bold should be kept unique to the word "Perfection" to avoid distraction. Well done, very creative!
~A fully sober Allan

If I had your eyes, I'd be blind. For I can only see out of my own. ~~Carly Van Dort

anonymous albert ?

Member Elite

since 2001-03-23

Posts 2979

3 posted 2001-03-29 03:30 AM

very nicely done
the the way u wrote it gave life 2 the poem
it had a very nice affect 2 the poem
another great poem done from u

anonymousfemale
Member Elite

since 2000-02-02

Posts 2797
Limbo

4 posted 2001-03-29 07:56 AM

Marie, this is wonderful. To branch off a normal acrostic into a poem that individually offers new meaning to the word 'perfection' is quite original.

I commend you for your effects and I look forward to seeing many more experiements soon.

Oh and Carly, try to lay off the cough syrup ok.

~AF~

Death is delightful. Death is dawn, the waking from a weary night of fevers unto truth and light.
~ Joaquin Miller ~

Dopey Dope

Moderator

Member Patricius

since 2000-08-30

Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico

5 posted 2001-04-01 12:35 PM

I liked this very much. Thought the formatting was original. Nicely done.

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

xShUgArHiGhx

Member Elite

since 2000-09-26

Posts 3150
tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs

6 posted 2001-04-01 10:03 PM

GREAT ACROSTIC!!!! I really liked this one!! Great job hun!!!

cherish
Senior Member

since 2001-03-25

Posts 1639
swimming in fairy floss...........

7 posted 2001-04-01 10:07 PM

hey i loved this poem...great acrostic too..!!..i think everybody said that huh?
i loved the way you brought "perfection" back into it at the end...gave it a nice "roundness"...
well appreciated..

Poet on Acid
Member

since 2001-01-07

Posts 325
Florida, USA

8 posted 2001-04-02 04:25 AM

COOL! I used to do those things in elementry school...ok so I still do but that's beside the point. I've never seen one as good as that though..most are like 'M O M' or something but yours was really good.

>¶ØÊ†<

banburycross
Senior Member

since 2001-03-27

Posts 946
viginia

9 posted 2001-04-02 08:47 AM

This was a really unique appoach to this kind of poetry and i liked it a lot. i love your writing sweetie, keep posting.

Sometimes, the things that go unsaid are the only things worth hearing.

Acies

Moderator

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-06-07

Posts 7665
Twilight Zone

10 posted 2001-04-10 06:25 PM

Acrostic is always great to read
you did really well on this one
hope to see more

"So long as men can breathe or eyes can see,
So long lives this, and this give life to thee." W.S.

Attack Ferrit
Junior Member

since 2001-04-09

Posts 41
texas

11 posted 2001-04-10 07:27 PM

wow! really great. you don't see acrostic poems very much and the way you made it the begenning of every stanza rather than line was very unique. great read!

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