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emptyness
Member

since 2000-03-09

Posts 95
mobile,Ala,USA

0 posted 2001-03-27 05:01 PM

My world contains a few simple things:
Oceans of pain,
Rivers of sorrow,
Mountains of trials,
Valleys of failure,
A black churning sky,
And a golden palace,
Shining your light to the ends of this pitiful land

And from the windows of our house,
I now see:
Oceans of ecstasy
Rivers of bliss
Mountains of peace
Valleys of accomplishments
And a ruby sunset

"Cogito ergo sum"-I think, therefore I exist
"Optimi consiliarii mortui"-learn from the past
"Otia dant vitia"-the devil finds work for idle hands

keoni
Senior Member

since 2000-10-16

Posts 850
Up in the mountains in the NFC

1 posted 2001-03-27 05:05 PM

I liked this one. It was short and to the point. At first I thought this was going to be a dark,sad poem, but then you threw my first impression right back in my face. This was nice.
Jon

"Your anger is a gift"-Rage Against The Machine

Dopey Dope

Moderator

Member Patricius

since 2000-08-30

Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico

2 posted 2001-03-27 05:12 PM

Very positive tone at the end of the poem. I thought you did just fine here on this one.
Hope to see more.

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

anonymous albert ?

Member Elite

since 2001-03-23

Posts 2979

3 posted 2001-03-28 03:45 AM

well done job on the poem
keep writin

Allan Riverwood

Member Elite

since 2001-01-04

Posts 3502
Winnipeg

4 posted 2001-03-28 04:12 PM

Ooh... good job! This was a very unique poem... I can't say much more than that. It had a great meaning and I really enjoyed it!
~Allan

If I had your eyes, I'd be blind. For I can only see out of my own. ~~Carly Van Dort

Fading Away

Member Elite

since 2001-03-14

Posts 3131
Lynchburg, Virginia

5 posted 2001-03-28 04:21 PM

This is great poem... I can tell you've got some talent that will be appreciated here. Thanks for sharing, and good job.

--Marie

I never thought that you would ever be the one to let me down. I guess that just goes to show how wrong I always am.

Acies

Moderator

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-06-07

Posts 7665
Twilight Zone

6 posted 2001-04-06 10:55 AM

You did good
I'm glad to see your outlook in life know is good
thanks for the read
keep sharing

"So long as men can breathe or eyes can see,
So long lives this, and this give life to thee." W.S.

banburycross
Senior Member

since 2001-03-27

Posts 946
viginia

7 posted 2001-04-06 11:43 AM

Wow, this was really awsome, i like this a lot. keep posting and keep up the good work.

Sometimes, the things that go unsaid are the only things worth hearing.

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