Teen Poetry #4 |
Pretty young girl |
Hallucination Member
since 2001-03-18
Posts 419 |
Pretty young girl walking down the street with every step she takes, I can feel my heart beat. As she turns the corner she smiles at me I hear a vouce say, she's whats missing in me. Pretty young girl dressed in shinny red if she should slip away, I'd be better of dead. I see the ocean blue color in her eyes my heart starts to burn, she's always on my mind. Pretty young girl leaves a trail in the snow now just let me prove, that there's no reason to go. No matter how much it rains she always smiles just to see her happy, I will walk a thousand miles. |
||
© Copyright 2001 Brian Eggertsen - All Rights Reserved | |||
Elvenblood Member
since 2001-02-17
Posts 409Maine, USA |
Wow, you have sch a talent. I love your work! you're going on my authors list!! "Some men see things as they are and say why. |
||
Isabel Galaxia Senior Member
since 2000-06-18
Posts 733 |
Wow, this is GREAT. I love the repetition. Good job Bel |
||
Linc
since 2001-03-07
Posts 552The Backstreet Boy |
Hey, Yeah, this is really good and I think your a great poet. I hope to see more of your poetry. Until next poem -- Linc "Once you reach your original goal it seems that the journey was your real accomplishment." |
||
Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
This one was not as good as some of your others, but I did like the poem. Hope to see more. I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. |
||
Fading Away
since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131Lynchburg, Virginia |
Another outstanding poem from you! I'm impressed! Great work. --Marie I never thought that you would ever be the one to let me down. I guess that just goes to show how wrong I always am. |
||
Allan Riverwood
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502Winnipeg |
Pretty young girls tend to do this to a person. What is it about pretty young girls? And did you mean "attractive young girl," or "moderately young girl?" This kinda ruined the whole poem for me. Clear this up for some of us! ~Allan If I had your eyes, I'd be blind. For I can only see out of my own. ~~Carly Van Dort |
||
Acies
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665Twilight Zone |
Very uplifting poem actually easy to read, not like the rest I've read today i like it alot good job "So long as men can breathe or eyes can see, |
||
⇧ top of page ⇧ | ||
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. |