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fozzyozzy
Member

since 2001-03-15

Posts 336
Lessburg Virginia

0 posted 2001-03-19 08:29 PM

Nine Inch Foil

Your infatuation with tin foil
O' how do you work and always toil
Shining ever so brilliantly
Yet tarnished so incessantly
Where you work to be founded
Beautiful song not sounded
O'er our heads the reeling
Translation of feeling
Reflection not found
Puddles on the ground
Why tin foil
Work and toil
Mold metal
Life settle
Nine inch
Hard pinch
Scream
Dream

"The heart can think of no devotion
Greater than being shore to ocean
Holding the curve of one position
Counting an endless repetition"
-

Dopey Dope

Moderator

Member Patricius

since 2000-08-30

Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico

1 posted 2001-03-19 09:34 PM

Very creative style here........going from your first 2 verses with 9 syllables to the last 2 verses with only 1 syllable.
I thought this was VERY creative. The peom itself had some great thoughts. I really liked this.

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

anonymousfemale
Member Elite

since 2000-02-02

Posts 2797
Limbo

2 posted 2001-03-20 09:22 AM

Damnit Dopes stop saying everything I want to say.

Well ditto to dopes AGAIN and well done on such a well written piece.

~AF~

"It is not necessary to change. Survival is not mandatory."
-W. Edwards Deming

Fading Away

Member Elite

since 2001-03-14

Posts 3131
Lynchburg, Virginia

3 posted 2001-03-20 09:29 AM

VERY well written. Good peice... nice style. Dopey said everything I would want to, so I guess that's it

Good job.

--Marie

I never thought that you would ever be the one to let me down. I guess that just goes to show how wrong I always am.

Allan Riverwood

Member Elite

since 2001-01-04

Posts 3502
Winnipeg

4 posted 2001-03-20 09:53 PM

Yeah, very creative.

Dopey is a thief!

~Allan

If I had your eyes, I'd be blind. For I can only see out of my own. ~~Carly Van Dort

StarPryncess17
Senior Member

since 2000-05-31

Posts 932
Colorado

5 posted 2001-03-20 10:12 PM

VERY creative indeed. you still have yet to cease my amazement. your work is most entertaining. ~*~Jesilyn~*~

"Tell me why you cry"

Acies

Moderator

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-06-07

Posts 7665
Twilight Zone

6 posted 2001-03-26 07:46 PM

simply amazing

...makes me wonder how you came up with this. keep it up

"So long as men can breathe or eyes can see,
So long lives this, and this give life to thee." W.S.

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