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Teen Poetry #4
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Nightmare!......the last breath
| Teen Poetry #4 |
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Nightmare!......the last breath |
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princess^sarah Member
since 2001-01-12
Posts 131melbourne 
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Darkness Surrounds her, A twisted wailing from some painful memory Suffocating her every breath Crushing every last hope from her wretched body Screams barely heard by her own insanity Grow louder until they are no longer a scream, But an eternal echo of pain inside her thoughts Then the silence comes And her pain is gone |
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| © Copyright 2001 sarah alford - All Rights Reserved | |||
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princess^sarah Member
since 2001-01-12
Posts 131melbourne |
 [This message has been edited by princess^sarah (edited 04-03-2001).] |
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banburycross Senior Member
since 2001-03-27
Posts 946viginia |
The theme of many of your poems seems to be love but this one isn't, and i think this poem is one of the best you've written. it's good to see you branching out into different styles of writing. Sometimes, the things that go unsaid are the only things worth hearing. |
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Child of the Stars
since 2000-09-07
Posts 1658Ann Arbor, MI |
Hehehe...da babay is koo! NEAT POEM! ~Carly Many miles behind my eyelashes, there always seems to be |
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Ina Senior Member
since 2000-10-09
Posts 1236Quebec, Canada |
this one is the best so far. Its intersting to see a darker poem for a poet who ive seen a lot of love poetry from. keep going! regina a small cut is only the beggining of a life in pain |
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Elvenblood Member
since 2001-02-17
Posts 409Maine, USA |
Wow, that's heavy. This isn't about suicide is it? Because that's what I got out of it. If it is, please talk to someone! It's an incredible poem though. No angels in heaven nor demons below the sea, could ever dissever my soul from the soul of the beautiful Annabel Lee |
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anonymous albert ?
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979 |
i have 2 agree tryin different style was a great idea hope u write more bout the dark side cuz i really liked this one  |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
I thought the poem was written fine. Not your best work, but still. Oh and the baby.......that was weird.  I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. |
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AngelShell Member
since 2000-03-01
Posts 446not heaven nor hell so... |
Suicide isn't the answer, believe me I know. But the poem was very nice. I called my music composition "The Last Breath" I wanted to call it "Transition from normalcy to incandescent hell" but my music teacher wouldn't let me... |
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Fading Away
since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131Lynchburg, Virginia |
This is a good poem, short.. but powerful. I hope you don't feel this way. If you do, consider talking to someone. Keep writing. --Marie It's true that we don't know what we've got until we lose it, but it's also true that we don't know what we've been missing until it arrives. |
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Acies
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665Twilight Zone |
very descriptive poem you have been impressing me with you poems lately youve been doing a great job keep sharing k "So long as men can breathe or eyes can see, |
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Allan Riverwood
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502Winnipeg |
I am with Javier, this isn't your best. However, the baby rocks. ~Allan |
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princess^sarah Member
since 2001-01-12
Posts 131melbourne |
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