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Marshalzu

Member Elite

since 2001-02-15

Posts 2681
Lurking

0 posted 2001-03-15 04:51 PM

I know why your tongue tied.

Feeling tongue tied?
Maybe you lied,
Should not lie to me.

Eyes look down,
Sigh and frown,
But I can still see.

I've seen no smile,
For a while,
So I know that's somethings wrong.

Sweet smell,
Feeling hell,
The story must be long,

Kind girl,
In a whirl,
Looks into the sky

My hate,
I contemplate,
Shes in love with another guy.

Have you ever wondered why something has happened to you? I wonder why my girlfriend cheated on me after going out with me for three days... not only that but when she cheated on meshe had only been apart from me for what say maybe 2 hours at the most... how can you fall out of love in 2 hours? You can fall in love in 2 seconds but it takes a lifetime to fall out of love... Umm... I wouldn't care but she didn't tell me she just thought that it was best to get on with things... I personally would have been less hurt if she had told me not some one of his best friends with a smug grin across his face... so I know how my dad feels when he found out that my mum was having an affair. Anyway as the Monty Python team put it " Always look on the bright side of life"

Friendship may end in love but love in friendship never.

keoni
Senior Member

since 2000-10-16

Posts 850
Up in the mountains in the NFC

1 posted 2001-03-15 04:59 PM

Nice poem, I liked the flow. I know how you feel with this one, I've been there. At least you found out after 2 days, instead of 2 months or 2 years. Definately not the type of person you would want to be with anyway. Sorry, I know how much this sucks.
Jon

"Your anger is a gift"-Rage Against The Machine

Jenn Cirrincione

Member Elite

since 2000-07-02

Posts 2107
Fl

2 posted 2001-03-15 05:03 PM

Well, this was really good. And I'm very sorry for your plight. However, I disagree with your afterthought. If you were only dating for 3 days, it's darn near impossible to even be in love in the first place... so, I do not believe she fell out of love in 2 hours, I believe maybe she just wasn't ready for a comittment, and she either had a moment of weakness, or she's just plain stupid. Either case, I suggest you cut your losses, and be elated at the fact this happened now, and not 3 months into your relationship. Good luck!!

Jenn

"I'm a big, big, girl, in a big, big world, it's not a big, big thing if you leave me, but I do feel, that I will miss you much..." Emilia

[This message has been edited by Jenn Cirrincione (edited 03-15-2001).]

Elvenblood
Member

since 2001-02-17

Posts 409
Maine, USA

3 posted 2001-03-15 05:05 PM

Damn man, that really sucks. It's a great poem though, and I'm sure Allan will like the structure. and I like the thoughts of it.

"Some men see things as they are and say why.
I dream things that never were and say why not." ~RFK

Dopey Dope

Moderator

Member Patricius

since 2000-08-30

Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico

4 posted 2001-03-15 09:21 PM

Nicely done here and geesh.....I personally would have kicked my mom's butt if she did that to my dad. If there is something i do NOT tolerate and makes me want to puke...it's cheating. I was cheated on and I wanted to die.
I'm tellin you.....bad stuff man.
anyhow...I liked what the poem said in here.

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

Allan Riverwood

Member Elite

since 2001-01-04

Posts 3502
Winnipeg

5 posted 2001-03-15 10:29 PM

This had a great flow to it, Marshal. Best of luck with the situation.
Always look on the bri~ght side of life.
*whistles*

~Allan

If I had your eyes, I'd be blind. For I can only see out of my own. ~~Carly Van Dort

fozzyozzy
Member

since 2001-03-15

Posts 336
Lessburg Virginia

6 posted 2001-03-15 10:35 PM

It is always wonderful to hear messages from the edge. Like you, I've been there. This is so strange because my friend is in the exact same predicament. I love the change of tone in your poem. Poems that switch around appeal to me. I don't know why though. By the way, my friend is doing just fine. I'm sure you will too.

Empty tears
Member

since 2001-03-12

Posts 64

7 posted 2001-03-15 11:08 PM

Definetely, im in the same predicament , but it took me 2 mos. to find out that he seemingly hated me the whole time i loved him...but i realize hes just a jerk(exactly like my dad)and isnt worth my time anyways.his loss...in your case...her loss! i agree w/dopey

starryeyed999
Junior Member

since 2001-03-05

Posts 35

8 posted 2001-03-15 11:58 PM

great poem...you definenetly have talent! Keep it up!

<*Lacy*>
"I can only please one person a day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow doesn't look good either. I'll get back to you."

Fading Away

Member Elite

since 2001-03-14

Posts 3131
Lynchburg, Virginia

9 posted 2001-03-16 10:26 AM

Great poem. I like the style... I hope things get better for you.

--Marie

I never thought that you would ever be the one to let me down. I guess that just goes to show how wrong I always am.

Acies

Moderator

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-06-07

Posts 7665
Twilight Zone

10 posted 2001-03-20 07:39 PM

I'm sorry to see that a situation like this is what caused you to write such a poem. I hope things are better. You have a really good outlook in like with the quote. Hold on to it

"So long as men can breathe or eyes can see,
So long lives this, and this give life to thee." W.S.

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