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Phantom
| Teen Poetry #4 |
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Phantom |
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Fading Away
since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131Lynchburg, Virginia 
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It's the fearless haze, Finding its way into my mind, Seeping through my conscious, Laying its ground, Creating my craze... The blanket which covers all reason, In these moments of dark silence Suffocates my soul... I see life through a tiny hole, Each day from the same season. My phantom hovering in my head Wants me alone. It's jealous of my real strength. It weaves these threads so tight That I see nothing, except where I've bled. One unpossessed moment in the night, A sliver of love seeps through, And cuts into my sore heart. It carves with the knife, What I've been needing for my fight... This weapon of choice Lays heavy in my hands I refuse to succumb To the phantom's demands. It is the rebirth of my "own" self, My own voice. Just a little something I wrote in a quick period of time. Hope you liked it. --Marie |
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| © Copyright 2001 Jennifer Floyd - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Linc
since 2001-03-07
Posts 552The Backstreet Boy |
Hey Fading Away, This piece was very good I liked it alot from your 2 poems I am expecting good things from you so until your next poem -- Linc "Once you reach your original goal it seems that the journey was your real accomplishment." |
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Allan Riverwood
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502Winnipeg |
This was wonderful. Impulse poetry tends to turn out very emotionally. The opening stanza was excellent, it led me right into the rest of the poem in the correct mood. Great job. ~Allan If I had your eyes, I'd be blind. For I can only see out of my own. ~~Carly Van Dort |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
I liked it. Thought it was great and I think you are a great addition to our family of friends. hope to see you post more and reply just as much or even more!  I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. I'm in love with my shadow I admire it daily |
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Acies
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665Twilight Zone |
WOW!!! I'm very very impressed ~*applauds*~ "So long as men can breathe or eyes can see, |
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anonymousfemale Member Elite
since 2000-02-02
Posts 2797Limbo |
Wowsers, marie. Impulse ROCKS!!  There is so much emotion in this it makes you want to jump around and scream ROAR at the top of your lungs.  "The blanket which covers all reason, In these moments of dark silence Suffocates my soul... I see life through a tiny hole, Each day from the same season." Those lines had the biggest effect on me. That blanket is a permanent part of all our lives. *sigh* Thanks for the read.  ~AF~ "Always keep focus on your dreams because most often than not that's all you'll have." - Javier |
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