Perfection Exists Precariously

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Elvenblood
Member

since 2001-02-17

Posts 409
Maine, USA

0 posted 2001-03-13 08:00 PM

Geometric precision
Natural works of art

Completely random
Always structured

Infinitely complex
Ever simple

Forced along by the wind
Strong enough to stop anyone

A grayish haze falling
Blinding white fallen

Jagged edges
Powdery blanket

Windy iced birth
Bland, wet death

Ever bringing me joy
Promising to bring me pain

As snow coalesces around me
I can’t help but think
What an incredible feat of life
To be able to live on the brink

"Some men see things as they are and say why.
I dream things that never were and say why not." ~RFK

Dark Enchantress
Senior Member

since 1999-07-27

Posts 1258
meet Morgana

1 posted 2001-03-13 08:43 PM

At first I was a little like, "huh?", and I bet you did that on purpose.

People love to do that...

Anyway, your poem was great. I really liked it...living on the brink, wonderful but horrible all at the same time. Maybe it's just me. I doubt it though.

and in the end
we still pretend
the time we spend
not knowing when
we're finally free
and you could be
-NIN "The Wretched"

Angel of Darkness

[This message has been edited by Dark Enchantress (edited 03-13-2001).]

Child of the Stars

Senior Member

since 2000-09-07

Posts 1658
Ann Arbor, MI

2 posted 2001-03-13 09:02 PM

YEAH!!!!!! BOO YA!!! OK me really liked this. YEAH! Hehehehehehehe........and we're spent.
~Carly

"The eye sees a thing more clearly in dreams than the imagination awake."
- Leonardo da Vinci

Allan Riverwood

Member Elite

since 2001-01-04

Posts 3502
Winnipeg

3 posted 2001-03-14 11:30 AM

This was different. In a very good way.
I love it.
~Allan

If I had your eyes, I'd be blind. For I can only see out of my own. ~~Carly Van Dort

Dopey Dope

Moderator

Member Patricius

since 2000-08-30

Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico

4 posted 2001-03-14 04:28 PM

OK I am quite confused as to the meaning of the poem.....but I will say that the ending stanza was pretty amazing.

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

Elvenblood
Member

since 2001-02-17

Posts 409
Maine, USA

5 posted 2001-03-14 07:41 PM

The poem doesn't have a meaning really. I just wrote it to express how much I feel about snow. Every statement in the two-liners is true about snow, even though they seem to conflict.

"Some men see things as they are and say why.
I dream things that never were and say why not." ~RFK

Acies

Moderator

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-06-07

Posts 7665
Twilight Zone

6 posted 2001-03-17 06:52 PM

interesting

What a way to put your feelings about snow
thanks for sharing

"So long as men can breathe or eyes can see,
So long lives this, and this give life to thee." W.S.

Marshalzu

Member Elite

since 2001-02-15

Posts 2681
Lurking

7 posted 2001-03-17 07:10 PM

This is great I really like the structure and it has a really good flow and there is a lot of contradiction... which I like, great piece.
Zu

Love is a friendship caught on fire.

Fading Away

Member Elite

since 2001-03-14

Posts 3131
Lynchburg, Virginia

8 posted 2001-03-17 08:09 PM

This was different... the structure especially, but that was the best part. Great job.

--Marie

I never thought that you would ever be the one to let me down. I guess that just goes to show how wrong I always am.

StarPryncess17
Senior Member

since 2000-05-31

Posts 932
Colorado

9 posted 2001-03-17 10:21 PM

I love the contradiction, gives it a nice tone.

I love the whole snow theme though, I LOVE SNOW!!

anyways, thanks for sharing! ~*~Jesilyn~*~

"Tell me why you cry"

fozzyozzy
Member

since 2001-03-15

Posts 336
Lessburg Virginia

10 posted 2001-03-17 11:26 PM

You're gonna think I'm wierd, but I perceived it to be about poetry in general. I mean, think about the lines.
"Infinitely complex
Ever simple"
That is basically the way I feel about poetry.

"The woods are lovely, dark, and deep
But I have promises to keep
And miles to go before I sleep
And miles to go before I sleep"
-Robert Frost

fozzyozzy
Member

since 2001-03-15

Posts 336
Lessburg Virginia

11 posted 2001-03-17 11:26 PM

You're gonna think I'm wierd, but I perceived it to be about poetry in general. I mean, think about the lines.
"Infinitely complex
Ever simple"
That is basically the way I feel about poetry.

"The woods are lovely, dark, and deep
But I have promises to keep
And miles to go before I sleep
And miles to go before I sleep"
-Robert Frost

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