Teen Poetry #4 |
endless love ended |
Empty tears Member
since 2001-03-12
Posts 64 |
Our endless love has ended I dont know what to do Should i try to revive the fire or try to get over you our endless love has ended and i dont know what to say except that i truly hope our paths will meet again someday And if our paths should meet again i only hope and pray that when our paths should meet again they'll meet again to stay. Perhaps ill always love you perhaps this love will end but only when i cease to love you can my heart begin to mend |
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© Copyright 2001 Brittany Mcpeak - All Rights Reserved | |||
Allan Riverwood
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502Winnipeg |
Interesting poem. I'm curious, how long have you been writing for? Please do not take this the wrong way, but your technique seems young. This is better than your previous one, in my opinion. You used good repitition in it. The scheme was very simple and had a great flow. Good job again. ~Allan If I had your eyes, I'd be blind. For I can only see out of my own. ~~Carly Van Dort [This message has been edited by Allan Riverwood (edited 03-12-2001).] |
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shadowmere Junior Member
since 2001-03-10
Posts 11Ohio, USA |
Hey, nice poem. However, I disagree with your use of love...as shakespear said "love is a marriage of true minds" and if it was ever love to begin with...then it would never cease. Nice job. Can it be so that you’ve been so ignorant or am I just another soul, in loves mad torrent? |
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Elvenblood Member
since 2001-02-17
Posts 409Maine, USA |
Sounds like that heart'll be wide open for a while. It goes that way for some reason. Well, I hope you find happiness, and love. "Some men see things as they are and say why. I dream things that never were and say why not." ~RFK |
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WaitN4AnAngel Junior Member
since 2001-03-08
Posts 37I wish I knew where I was... |
Another good poem. I must admit I liked the other one better, but this one makes you wonder if there is such a thing as endless love. Great topic!! *Me* *If you don't stand for something, you'll fall for anything* *A smile is a curve that straightens out a lot of things* |
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Tears of Glass Member
since 2000-12-04
Posts 182Physically? VA.... Mentally? I'm not quite sure |
This is a good poem. I agree with Allan on this one though. I can't say I know how you feel, but I hope things get better... *Jennifer "My nightmare isn't fearing what I dream... It's waking up, knowing what I'll see." |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
NIcely done here.........I liked it. I thought you did well for what you were tryin to say. Keep reading here and your bound to learn some new tricks of the trade......not sayin yer bad cuz yer not......I'm just sayin you learn a lot of stuff by reading all the wonderful poets here. Hope to see you around more. I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. I'm in love with my shadow I admire it daily |
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Acies
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665Twilight Zone |
I enjoyed the read yes, it's in simple form as Allan said, but i like it cause i understood each line you thoughts were expressed cleary thanks for the share "So long as men can breathe or eyes can see, So long lives this, and this give life to thee." W.S. |
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Fading Away
since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131Lynchburg, Virginia |
Very expressive poem... I like it. Very well written. --Marie I never thought that you would ever be the one to let me down. I guess that just goes to show how wrong I always am. |
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Irish Rose Member Patricius
since 2000-04-06
Posts 10263 |
Yes, this is heartbreaking, and very very sincere. Kathleen Blake "When red-haired girls scamper like roses over the rain-green grass, and the sun drips honey." Laurie Lee |
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Linc
since 2001-03-07
Posts 552The Backstreet Boy |
Hey, Yes, this is a great poem very well written I enjoyed reading it and its going to my library. Hope to see more of your work. Until then -- Linc "Once you reach your original goal it seems that the journey was your real accomplishment." |
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Marshalzu
since 2001-02-15
Posts 2681Lurking |
This was great, I really liked your ryhming style. Keep up the good work. Zu Love is a friendship caught on fire. |
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