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Teen Poetry #4

Weeping Willow

Kosetsu
Member

since 2001-03-10

Posts 450
Alabama, USA

0 posted 2001-03-11 10:28 AM

Weeping willow,
Sails a' billow,
Wind a' wailing,
Wisp a' trailing,

Glittering star,
It's too far,
Where to go,
Heart in tow,

Final pale moon,
Waiting for the noon,
Single soft touch,
Letting go of such,

Rage burning sun,
Soon it will be done,
Maybe its a lost cause,
Never me, too many flaws,

Dying planet,
Soon'll be gone,
Fading feeling,
Heart stealing,

New beginning,
Love is thinning,
Luck to the lucky,
At least one can be happy.

Shouldn't be able to miss what you never had...so why do I miss her so?

Linc

Senior Member

since 2001-03-07

Posts 552
The Backstreet Boy

1 posted 2001-03-11 11:49 AM

Hey,

This is good I liked the way its written keep up the great job. til your next poem

-- Linc

"The goal is not allways the the reason something is done the path to get to the goal is more important."

Dopey Dope

Moderator

Member Patricius

since 2000-08-30

Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico

2 posted 2001-03-11 12:09 PM

I thought it was ok. Not your best, but still a great read. I liked it though, I thought it was original.

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

Allan Riverwood

Member Elite

since 2001-01-04

Posts 3502
Winnipeg

3 posted 2001-03-11 11:42 PM

Well I think it was VERY good. Dopey is nuts.
Better than the other one I read of yours, in my opinion. The theme of it was very good.
Nice job. I'm off to read the third one of yours straight away!

~Allan

If I had your eyes, I'd be blind. For I can only see out of my own. ~~Carly Van Dort

Acies

Moderator

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-06-07

Posts 7665
Twilight Zone

4 posted 2001-03-13 08:25 PM

I too think that it's a really good write
i love your way with your rhymes
it's like nursery rhymes
it's different but very effective
I'm impressed

"So long as men can breathe or eyes can see,
So long lives this, and this give life to thee." W.S.

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