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Teen Poetry #4
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What Lies Inside
| Teen Poetry #4 |
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What Lies Inside |
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Angel in Flight Member
since 2001-01-07
Posts 381 |
The furry of evil overlaps you, the Lethal Toxin enters your veins.... The Sinister Liquid runs through your body... Enveloping you within its every being. making You and It become one. Your bones Crush and Grind together... becoming dust within the Pain. Your soul burns with fire and decomposes. You are lost within the debris of yourself. Your heart is pulverized by your own reflection..... Your eyes no longer wish to see... what lies within the flesh and bone....................... .... .............. ............... ......is nothing. The law of harvest is to reap more than you sow.Sow a habit and you reap a character.Sow a character and you reap a destiny |
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| © Copyright 2001 Amanda - All Rights Reserved | |||
Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
Nicely done here. You are writing very powerful stuff lately. The ending of it is wonderful. You must be going through trying times right now. Hope things get better.  I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. I'm in love with my shadow I admire it daily |
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anonymousfemale Member Elite
since 2000-02-02
Posts 2797Limbo |
Well written Amanda. The way that you made words like Crush, Grind and Pain have capital letters really amplified the piece. The ending was, like Dopey said, Wonderful although the dots were getting to me. All the same, a very powerful piece of writing.  ~AF~ "To alcohol! The cause of - and solution to - all of life's problems!" Homer Simpson |
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Miracle Junior Member
since 2001-01-07
Posts 22 |
ohhh Amanda, I dont know what to say.... I will talk to you later, my friend. I hope everything is alright |
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Kandi Member
since 2000-06-14
Posts 354North of Hell |
I think perhaps all your poems are deep and metaphorical...I'm jealous! This is awesome work! Bump up to you!  FORK! "There is only one rain cloud in the sky, and it's raining on me. Somehow I'm not surprised." "Make your life like toilet paper - long and useful." |
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Allan Riverwood
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502Winnipeg |
Fork?  Anyways... this was a magnificent piece of yours, Amanda. As always. The periods before the last line left quite a bit to the last line itself, which was a very good one. Outstanding. ~Allan If I had your eyes, I'd be blind. For I can only see out of my own. ~~Carly Van Dort |
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Acies
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665Twilight Zone |
Marvelous poem, but there is too much hurt and anger It just makes me worry for you I hope things get better for you be strong "So long as men can breathe or eyes can see, So long lives this, and this give life to thee." W.S. |
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Elvenblood Member
since 2001-02-17
Posts 409Maine, USA |
That;s amazing. I really like this. It's a brutally honest accound of a lot of people. A friend of mine went through this recently. "Some men see things as they are and say why. I dream things that never were and say why not." ~RFK |
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