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Souled out
| Teen Poetry #4 |
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Souled out |
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TearsOfPearls Member
since 1999-09-23
Posts 322Vereeniging, South-Africa 
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You come to me, trusting eyes, sorrow suddenly within me rise. You ask a little but ask allot, made me a hero though I'm not. I gave you all now I'm weak, still want more from this philosophy freak. Cannot dare to leave you out, even if I'm all souled out. (The part of the philosophy freak doesn't really fit in, but that's why I'm posting, for advise...  )Planning big can be a gamble...I have already rolled the dice! |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
Maybe it should be philosophical freak. Well I don't know........ask yerself why it didn't fit in and then from the answer you get, you should find out what does fit. If you'd like to change it then do, but I really think it's fine. I mean, I'm not good enough to critique it. Nice job.  I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. I'm in love with my shadow I admire it daily |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
ATTENTION ATTENTION! This was on page 3!!!! I'm the only one who's replied to it!!!!! People......listen up.....there are tons of poems from page 1-3 who have 1-3 replies....it's sad. These poets worked their little tushies off to express themselves and we're only coming here to post our own works? NO! We have to reply to others.....c'mon now!!! Whoever is reading this.....go over to other pages and bump back poems with the fewest amount of replies, or whatever floats yer boat....but geesh......let's not be selfish here and ONLY POST OUR OWN WORK......let's share what we think about our fellow poets pieces and stuff.......it's better off that way!!! So......please......let's do it....chop chop.....go to page 3 and work I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. I'm in love with my shadow I admire it daily |
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Acies
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665Twilight Zone |
I'm slowly working my way up Dopey, so hold on to your horses. Been a little busy lately, so I'm a bit behind. Tears --- Want advice? One thing..... Learn to see the beautiful things in life instead of the bad ones. Hope that makes sense And hope things do get better for you"So long as men can breathe or eyes can see, So long lives this, and this give life to thee." W.S. |
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EagleScorpion Senior Member
since 2000-03-08
Posts 1644Here, Now, Forever |
Right now im in a period of my life where I too feel terribly "souled out" as you put it... I havent been writing much at all when i know that can usually serve as my antidote..What am I looking for here? Answers?..I duno.. i see great promise in you as a writer and a poet.. the only problem with you is you seem to be facing a similar obstacle that I face right now as well.. |
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