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TearsOfPearls
Member

since 1999-09-23

Posts 322
Vereeniging, South-Africa

0 posted 2001-03-12 12:37 PM

It doesn't need much,
one little spark
and all those emotions
that was left in the dark,
suddenly burst out
and a furious flame
fueled by the need
to know who's to blame,
starts raging through
the crowd around me,
a flame that was small
now surrounds me.
I could have stopped it
'stead a blew it on.
It's hard to admit
that I was wrong.
I could have saved
a life today,
made the fury
fly away,
I needed to be angry,
please can you forgive me.

Planning big can be a gamble...I have already rolled the dice!

Allan Riverwood

Member Elite

since 2001-01-04

Posts 3502
Winnipeg

1 posted 2001-03-12 12:44 PM

Wow... this had a wonderful flow. The short lines and scheme of rhyme was very nice in this piece.
You expressed a great deal of emotion here, it was all well absorbed while reading it.
"I could have saved
a life today"
Those two lines were very good. Excellently done.
~Allan

If I had your eyes, I'd be blind. For I can only see out of my own. ~~Carly Van Dort

Dopey Dope

Moderator

Member Patricius

since 2000-08-30

Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico

2 posted 2001-03-12 02:18 PM

Great job on this one. I thought it was great. very very very good poem.

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

Linc

Senior Member

since 2001-03-07

Posts 552
The Backstreet Boy

3 posted 2001-03-12 02:48 PM

Hey,

As Allen said, it has a great flow to is and I hope you keep up the good work I am looking forward to seeing you grow into the great poet that you can be and that your poetry keeps getting better and better. Until your next poem...

-- Linc

Elvenblood
Member

since 2001-02-17

Posts 409
Maine, USA

4 posted 2001-03-12 02:49 PM

Ohh, Damn this one hurt to read :-( I hope you're ok!

"Some men see things as they are and say why.
I dream things that never were and say why not." ~RFK

Acies

Moderator

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-06-07

Posts 7665
Twilight Zone

5 posted 2001-03-15 12:04 PM

You can't blame yourself on everything that happens around you.
Don't be too hard on yourself.
Be strong

"So long as men can breathe or eyes can see,
So long lives this, and this give life to thee." W.S.

EagleScorpion
Senior Member

since 2000-03-08

Posts 1644
Here, Now, Forever

6 posted 2001-07-03 03:40 PM

Your feelings of regret are portrayed very well here.. like fire

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